Why Everything Feels Broken (Customer Service Fails, Absurd Prices & Modern Life Frustration) | 4/24/26

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you

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They were quiet eyes in the middle of the party the night we met Can't explain what I felt but it hit me like a breaker like you did best Listen to me trying to write you a love song

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so

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is my love song to you baby This is me trying to write you a song This is my love song to you

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you

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you

took a minute but found you took a

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Take one. One, two, three, four. Do you like?

Music.

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American music, don't you like American music? Baby...

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Did you do too many drugs? I did too many drugs Did you do too many drugs too? Maybe you were born too late I was born too soon But every time I look at that ugly moon It reminds me of you It reminds me of you

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You're born too slow, I was born too late But every time I look you back, a green light Reminds me of me, like I'm gonna get my hands on you again, like I'm never gonna get my hands on you

you

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you

you

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music. We like American music I like American music Baby You like American music We like all kinds of music

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You

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Jocys on a vacation far away Come around and talk it over So many things that I wanna say You know I my girls a little bit older I just wanna use your love tonight I don't wanna lose your love tonight

I just wanna use your love tonight I don't

your love tonight you

I'm trying to stop my head from shaking Something in my mind's not making sense Still I sense we were all alone Looking halfway, I'm feeling As your neighbor plays, watch her close the door And don't forget what I told ya Just cause you like it, don't mean I'm wrong Another showed up to drive her

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wish you

I just wanna use your love tonight I don't wanna lose your love tonight I just wanna use your love tonight I don't wanna lose your love tonight

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you you

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you

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Hello, hello. Welcome to this, the Friday live stream. Where am I going with this? A production of At the Bike. I don't know. Man, hope you're having a great Friday. I hope your weekend is already rocking and rolling whenever you're watching this. And if not, hopefully Brad and I can help you down that path.

Cause I'll just say right now, Brad and I are, I think we're both really, uh, I don't want to put words into Brad's mouth, but I think we're both angry at the world right now. Cause there's so much crap going on. Uh, put it in my mouth. My ears perked and, it's just me. The ladies aren't here. So that's gotta suck for you. All right. Well, it's good to see him. Uh, poor choice of words there for me.

Yeah, we'll check in. We'll see if Brad comes back anytime soon. I can understand the disappointment. But hey, you know what? Kelly will be returning soonish, maybe as early as next week. She's getting her crap together. I think Rebecca will be here next week. So just hang in there, y'all. Until then, it's the Cardboard co-hosts, Rebecca and Kelly. Don't you miss them? And we've missed Brad, too. He's been gone for, I don't know, it feels like

Decades, man. When did you start trusting women? Hold on a second. You know, Rebecca will be here next week and really, mean, seriously, it's, it's a woman.

I mean, that's fair. That's fair. I mean, I trust women more than I trust my government. And holy crap, if you, if you saw yesterday's, at the mic and we did the deep dive with Scott Horton about the lies that were sold to us, just to our faces, to get us into, not only Iraq, but even Afghanistan. I I'm sorry. I didn't realize there was so much more than I had remembered from, Scott Horton's book. and you know what today is.

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What was April 24th? What do we got? 1980. April 24th, 1980. Let's see. The hostages were taken in November. So 79. You're very close. So April 24th, 1980. Give me a hint. Come on now. Hostages.

Uh, April 24th, 1980. Go ahead. Tell us. It was the first attempt at freeing those hostages. didn't go so well for Jimmy Carter. This was, know what Buster Cluck that was that day. And I feel like those two pilots almost became that for Donald Trump when those aircraft got stuck and then they had to just destroy them right there a couple of weeks ago and leave them where they lie. Yeah. Well, it's that

The thing with Iran is it never changes. They I think they have been a constant threat. And I'd say I still trust Trump to take care of business the right way. And I think I think he's doing the right thing. Awesome. Tuesday's the deadline. That's my 60 day window. okay. So okay. let's see here. What do I want to do here? can I

don't think I have ever and I'm not going go it. in college you were drunk. remember I was there. I watched two pictures. Oh, not that. Thank goodness the internet wasn't social media wasn't around in the 90s. That could have been bad for me. It would have been really bad. So I don't think I've ever fully detailed all of the fireplace Eldon stuff. That finally concluded just a couple of weeks ago, you know, after winter.

that. Uh but I'm I'm one of these days, I'm going to either write it. I gotta write a book about the whole experience but here's you take deep breaths. Here here's here's how it uh here's how it uh climaxed if you will. Let's let's let's just step back and choose different words from the beginning, okay? Mm Just uh the bell is out of reach, Oh, thank you. That one. My bell's on the floor and that's not a

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Okay, so dude, I swear had me blocked because again, this is a very long story, but let me just sum it up like this. He replaced both fireplace units and then I didn't discover until he had left on January 10th after working on it for three months off and on that he hadn't put in the little igniter switch. I'm like, it had a lighters ignition switch.

Before you started, bro, what is happening? Any problem? had excuses. I'm sick. I fell my wife the end. OK, I got it. So anyway, but it got to the point where he has read receipts on his phone and my text was great anymore, you know, and and when I'd call, it would just like just it wouldn't connect or whatever. Like I was like, he's got me blocked. He's got me blocked. Son of a. So what I did, huh?

What I did is I downloaded an app and got a fake phone number and I called him from it. And I said, hey, how much you think you're able to put in like a mission switch and a fire? I can take care of that for you, sir. Yes, sir. good. Because I hired a guy who- Brad, I lit that man up. I'm surprised he didn't hang up. Like a drill sergeant, man.

I was using words that I reserved for politicians, man, and it was ugly. And I wasn't proud of myself, but at the same time I was. And you know what? His ass came out a week later and he put in that switch and I've tested it it works and the house didn't blow up and I didn't die. So there you go. It sucks that you have to get to that point because I had to do the same thing at four wheel parts today. no. And after having taken the truck in,

previous to this and them telling me that they could not fix the hole in the rear tire because the screw that was in it was too close to the sidewall, which I'm all right, okay. And that's a real thing. It's a real thing. But I went and I checked and I said, what all the way through? yeah, can't all right. Well, and the fix was gonna be, you two new tires. Well, you never buy tires singly. You always buy them at least in pairs.

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And unfortunately, those tires on the truck now are like 450 bucks a piece. What tires they have and to their credit by six of those not that long ago at that price. Well, they're BF Goodrich all terrain TA. So I love BF Goodrich. Who doesn't love a good BF Goodrich, right? And their blimp is amazing. Do you off road? I have. Can you start? Hold on. Hold on. Can you can somebody somebody

somebody has to figure out a way to tell me, bro, the banners are still on. We're about to start. We're about to start. It's like seven minutes in Malinac. Okay, I'm sorry. right. It's all right. I just figured that the the incompetence was built contagious contagious. Yeah, that's it. So you had a tire. So anyway, so I go I get the last week I go get the truck and I find I'll

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That's all.

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because I have to put these new TPMS sensors in there so I know the tires are going flat, which you don't technically need, but it's there and stupid light on the dash is blinking. so, you know, I go by pickup, I bring it, I bring it back to the house and I look at the screw myself and

The thing was stuck maybe a 16th, maybe an eighth of an inch into the even take the tire off, try to get the screw out. even look, I even asked it went all the way through. Yeah. And so anyway, I took care of that myself and bring it back. And, I'm going to drop it off this morning. I sat and stand there at the counter guys. All right, second, go out to check the mileage on the truck comes back in and I see him with.

hustle off to the other guy and they go in the back. I'm like, what? What now? Comes back out. Well, those, those tires are six years old and we, we can't dry rot and take them off and rebeat and it won't seat and block. said, so you won't do, you won't do it? Nope. No safety, blah, blah, blah, blah. Why didn't anybody say anything about this last week? And I just, I got pissed and I said, you know what? I'm never doing business with you again. And while we're sorry that no, you're not.

You're not. I just hate it. It's like you're either incompetent or you're lying to me. One of the two, because if you didn't notice it last week, why all of a sudden you don't notice it this week? Okay. Counterpoint. What if over the course of the last week, that's when they would try rot. See, I can say that because you can't hit me. You can't reach me from well and six year old tires and it is a thing. And so I get it from a liability standpoint. They could try and if it doesn't receive.

But then you've got to, then you are stuck buying tires. They didn't even offer me the whole, if you'll sign a waiver, blah, blah, blah. We won't do it. And again, I go back to why didn't you, you looked at the damn things last week. Why didn't you say that last week? Why didn't you give me the too close to the sidewall and dry rock can't do it. You got some real winners over there. I just, it's like, what the hell is wrong with people? Why, why, why do people suck? Right. Right. Yeah. The bad kind drinking coffee. Yeah.

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I gotta go move furniture after this. can't get drunk today. That's the best way to move furniture. That's fair. You know what? I'm second though. But but then your your fireplace. Yeah. Can you believe that guy? I mean, ha ha ha. Fireplace Eldon is, I swear he was out of his truck half the time watching YouTube videos trying to figure out what the hell to do back in the house. But he's agreed he's gonna come do it. He's gonna fix it. He's already fixed it. Okay.

Oh yeah. Was he nice when he got there? that had to be awkward. was very nice. Like it was, it was ridiculous over the top. It's like, you know, but of course he picked the worst day ever. Like because the dogs were barking, because there was a lady here that's the boss of somebody that helps out with the olds. And, it was,

He of course couldn't come on a day when I could just hang out down there and just do show prep and you do this and everybody's happy. No, he had to come at the worst possible time phrasing. It's if you again, can we start over and use different words all the way around? And but that made me think of Kara didn't charge me. I assure you if he tried it, I would have been on the news. Continue.

Well, I earlier this week, it was Tuesday because it was raining and I'm up in the attic here at the old motel. I'm like, what is that? hear the let's see if I can do it. No, not water above me. Oh, no. This is the new roof was just installed within the last six months. And so I oh and here I have the video. So here is the you want to see the video evidence of a leak in in said roof. Yeah.

It is Tuesday, April 21st. No, there's the there's the in the attic. no. 1385 Prairie. Oh, oh, well, well, that's all right. People can find me. You know what? If you Google my name, you'll find me. Yeah, you'll find you'll find a Smith and Wesson. No, it's actually a the one within reach right now is actually it is a Smith and Wesson. So come on over.

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You want to come over? Be my guest. Come on over. So here's the... I get the video of where it's coming in, where it's doing, blah, blah, blah. And there's actually... And here's the part that's... I get it. Roof's leak. This is in the flashing around the chimney. I just said that, old Brad. Old Brad. So I see this and then...

there's another one at the other corner and there's a third one. And I took videos and I send them to the guy who owns the roofing company who I'm not going to mention right now because. But that was Tuesday. wait till it's done. That was Tuesday. Have I heard, we'll get on that. hey, we'll, I'll call you. Can I call you later? We'll get, hey, we'll have I heard anything. It's Friday. It's only three days later. I've heard bookus.

And now that's, it's starting to irritate me because, you know, you pay somebody, how much are roofs? A lot. And, and again, I understand leaks happen. They will happen. no. But you could at least do the old, let me, I'll we're slammed this week. Let me get back to you. But I've heard nothing. no. Why? Why do they, why? Why?

What is so hard about just and we are just grumpy old men today and that's fine because because that I am I am I'm on edge. I'm about to be falling down guy in the end, you know, going to the Yep, Michael Douglas Michael Doug going to the fast food joint. And then like the picture. Right. Yeah, exactly. Hold on a second. Hold on. Bear with me while I turn the air because I'm getting this.

Are you getting hot? Well, I thought it was just me. No, I'm turning. Well, and I've seen, when I watched that, when I watched falling down and I actually just watched it within the last, don't know, six, seven. It's a lot more easy to relate to it today than it was 30 years ago. Am I right? And the, yeah. And the older you get, the more you watch that and you go, Holy shit. I timeout timeout. Hey Sue, can you hear the air conditioner? I just turned it on.

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We're going to have a problem with Sue. No, no, no. She always points out because always I used to ask the microphone. Okay. So, can I just say what, what happens wrong with people? happened in my house five minutes before I played the music, Fred? what, what did happen? did I not properly and I've forgotten.

the toilet won't. Oh, that's right. Yes, the toilet. Sorry. I'm like, well, can't fix it now. Brad can't fix it now. Who is this Brad guy? Is that the do I know him? Have I seen him before? I feel like I feel like I've run across him. I mean, I may you know what? He's like, I think I've seen him naked. He's the author of Spend a Little Save a Lot Home Improvement. I have seen him. Look at that right there. Brad Staggs.

home improvement expert is the time. Well, let's define expert. What is an expert when it comes right down to it? What is an expert? mean, someone that used to be a pert. Oh, that's a good point. Perk. Perk. Uh huh. Sorry about the chapstick. I'll explain. I have an issue here too. I have an issue with my mouth.

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it's I'm I'm grumpy as I'll get out. Hold on. My my my yeah. My lips get chapped more often than yours. I'm gonna chop your **** in a minute. Can I just hold on? I wanna show you something here. Hero West, I believe is off on a a treasure hunt. impromptu treasure hunt. So, he's out in the desert

looking looking for for buried treasure. I made the thumbnail today on the fly and and I'll just say I couldn't get I couldn't get Grok to get your hand off of my back. Look at that. What's alright. What's what's wrong with that? There's touching. No touching sir. That's just that's brotherly love. Brotherly love. Okay. Don't ever don't ever touch. my tongue wasn't in your ear.

on the picture. So, I can't my feet either. I said I told Grock to put soccer on the TV because we got a story coming up here. Have you looked at the prices of this World Cup stuff? Go look up ticket prices. It's unbelievable. This is this is you know what? Today's show title should be two old men bitching at a bar about life. I looked up tickets to see the Eagles who are going to be in the DFW area next in May.

going to be there's some uh the next few months. **** How does anybody go to a concert anymore? Oh, oh, I thought you're talking about the soccer tickets. Uh no, the uh soccer tickets uh see but uh and it's uh I'll get them up here on the screen here. Hang on. Holy **** World Cup final tickets are now reselling. Did you see this one? Look at this. Hold on. From, okay, this is like a preliminary game against Canada versus Bosnia

Herzegovina. Which is beautiful this time of year. Hasn't been in the news enough lately so that's why I can't pronounce it. Starting at $1,042 for nosebleeds. But look at that though. That's a bargain compared to USA versus Paraguay. At least it's the home country in Inglewood, California. technically. Starting at $1,288. Wait, what's this bargain basement? 214. Hang on. Qatar versus Switzerland? It's In Santa Clara? It's Qatar. Qatar 214. Look at that. 1484. Who's that?

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Brazil versus Morocco. Look at the, look at the over there. Take a look at the the finals tickets. Look how much they're selling for. Is that on your screen? Yep. Hang on. Where's your screen? It's right where you are. Oh no. Oh no. Oh no. No. See, how about those $1,500 tickets now? They're looking a little bit better, aren't they? Pop up off of there. It's pissing me off. Although it's mint wireless. Let's let's know. Okay. $2 million.

Huh? I do like Ryan. Yeah, yeah. He's a good. A little homo. you like Just a little. I do. I mean, for the story, why not? OK. So this is how, OK. I mean, you talk about two grouchy old men at a bar. Who's going to pay? How does this happen? Like, I'm genuinely pissed about this.

And I have no intention of going. It's like, stop. We've imported the third world, but not the third world prices. Well, what you have to do is you have to either sneak in or steal the tickets. I just, are the, that's the only two ways that, um, wait, Toby says no touching. What do you, Toby, tell it to Brute. Come on. Um, no touch mustache. Don't touch my mustache, which in Japanese means

No touch mustache. That's the way you remember how to say you're welcome in Japanese. No, don't touch my mustache is no touch mustache. You're welcome. What if you're just rude and you don't say you're welcome? Kick him in the ass. I mean, come on. That's kind of that. That's that's a that's a phrase that's optional. You're welcome. Right. Like if I say thank you, if you don't say you're welcome, I'm not going to be pissed. So if you're learning a new language, why are you going to learn these?

That's a good point. We've kicked their ass a couple of times, so we can kick it again. Yeah, don't make me come. Don't make me fly over you. Well, actually, we can't right now because everything's in the. that's true. In the Strait of Hormuz. have you have you checked in on the Strait of Hormuz lately? What do we got going on there? Well, it's the again, it's what is the year 2026 and we can at a moment's notice. we can.

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we can look in on the Strait of Hormones and see what's happening. mean, you've got to, that is one fabulous thing about modern life is you can see what's happening. I've said many times, a little vacation over here on Kesham Island. That might be a dream, you know, kicking back and of course, of course, a beer in your hand. I think there's an air zoom in some more there. There is a little known Airbnb down there on a scroll down that little, that little Island right there.

Hangham, Hangham Island. yeah. Island. Yeah, Hangham Island. There's a couple of Airbnbs there with great views. World famous. Can I just say that the Rich Starry, do you remember that ship that they said blew through the US blockade and took oil? I didn't know the name of it, but OK. OK, well, I saw that report and I said, huh. And then I went to one of these little marine tracker websites and I found it was still there in the Strait of Hormuz.

So that means that report would be wrong because I was able to verify that Madame self. what's it? What was the name of it? Starry? Rich R I C H space. Yes. What if I can look? want to if you can find it. Little rich starry. See where old rich starry is now. Who named ships like that? mean, call it like, yeah, say something like, you know, the the the the superlum. Well, look at that. Look at that. I just it worked.

I just, you found her. saw a picture. I found a picture of it. Oh no. I guess if I scroll down, there it is. Oh, it's not in China. Is it? Uh, no, it's still in the zoom in on. Yeah. Let's see. Uh, I'm going to have to go back to the other page. Hang on a second because five minutes ago, is that what it says or 10, uh, nine minutes ago? No, it says terrestrial AI. Yes. What the hell does that mean? Um, Oh, so in nine minutes it could have moved. it's been at anchor. It's been at anchor for a minute.

47. And it's an hour 47 minutes. This is this is crazy because you back back when I was young, we couldn't even dream of having this kind of information on our fingertips. It's it's it's it's just south of Lorac Island, which is not nearly as nice. Hangover Island. it's no it's over here. no Lorac is like that's like, that's like the Redneck Riviera. Right, right. Yeah, you will you get lower prices. That's the that's the upside.

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I'm a little, I'm a little sad though, because your boy there from Mint Mobile, just, we got, we got a new ad and he's gone now. How does that make you feel? Ryan has been ignoring me for some time now and he'll pay the price. The same. It, what goes around comes around. I think it goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway.

So, so there you go. Rich story is hanging. What are the oil futures right now? That's what I need to see. haven't looked those up. Is that Cal she can we find that out at Cal she is that because that's what I mean that that's a better tracking website for most things than like the official stuff. 9416 on the oil on the oil and let's just see what the Dow did today. My stocks are up. Oh,

down minus 132. Monday at 5pm 50 % except I don't know how to use all of the features at she well well I'll stew and see what yeah yeah well you know he's got that new show called what's what's it called it's called predictable show.com and you know how I know it's not just predictable.com because I went to predict and it's not him at predictable.com but at predictable show hey uh.com

Hey, when I opened up my Koushi account, I told everybody I put some money on the Hawks to win the NBA championship and they've been winning some thrillers. They're up two to one in their first round series. Long way to go to bring it home. But I get to retire if the Hawks win the NBA championship because I think I win $9,000. Like I said, retire. That's like retirement money. We'll never work again. Never work again. Yeah. You know what? You have my word. You and I, we're going out drinking if...

if. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. NBA title. Oh yeah. We're just getting just go call my Uber. Do you know who I am? Me and my friend here. We're to call an Uber. We'll just buy. We'll buy Uber. We're going to have the best whatever the hell this is. We'll buy Uber and then then we don't have to pay for it anymore. If you just buy it.

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Then you have it at your Beck and call. You think I could buy Uber for nine grand? you got nine grand. You'll have money left over dude. And the houses you'll be able to buy and, and I mean, just think about it. Go Hawks. Go. Right. Right. Right. Right. Right. Okay. So, I guess we have we bitched and moaned for 25 minutes effectively. I still have more in me. Wait, hold on.

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keep this bell. I got the I need the bell more without the girls here and you doing your thing than with than I found the update on that. Dick Wad Judge in Houston too and it pissed me you want to talk about being pissed. So let's recap. He had an issue with his computer. The IT guy came in there. He berated the guy unnecessarily and hold on. Hold on. I cannot believe I mean only the best for my

the best what the best the best signage I had the wrong I had the deep dive and I haven't even I'm too lazy to make an orange one for Wednesdays the wild card Wednesday Wednesday welcome whatever the hell it's called show real quick real quick we're writing a four game win streak four shows without a dog bark I'm proud of those pups

Wait for it. I just jinxed it. know it. Okay. So, so, so did the judge get this barred? No, no, no, no. This is, uh, this is great because I, uh, this is the local Houston, uh, station down there. It's, it's KPAC and the, uh, the, uh, chick that, uh, the reporter babe who went out and, uh, did the story was the last week, week before. Well, she went and she says, uh, I've got a new, uh, different perspective and,

Let's see if at the end of this you want to punch this guy. it. Pause it. I haven't even started it. I know. know. Hang on second. can already tell by the way you set this up. What? I didn't say anything. Is that the judge right there? No, no, no. That is a juror who was in the courtroom at the time that the judge turned into Dicky McDickface. The judge I can already tell. What? What? don't think I've. Before you press play.

before you press play, one of two things happened. I'm so high right now. She is either now sleeping with the judge or the judge threatened her. No, no, no. It's, it's, it's, it's, I'm sorry. That's not, look at me being all hasty with my conclusions. Don't be hasty pudding. Press play. Maybe the IT guy could also not be so flippant and, and cute.

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A juror who was in the courtroom for that judge's viral moment tonight says that there's more to that story.

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I'm you said that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. You said something else. I mean, this is going to be bitch fest for two hours, apparently. You said that's kind of a spoiler alert. I hate it when podcasts do that. And there's some great shows out there. But when they play a clip at the beginning to tease you, they've many times given away something very important that I'm going to hear later on.

That's no longer a cliffhanger. That was a stupid thing for her to say, but yeah, she's a woman. Can you really blame her?

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viral video of Judge Nathan Milliron seen right here in a heated exchange with an IT worker.

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But one jury member who was in Mill Irons courtroom that day says there is more to the story. KPRC 2 News reporter J. Juan Jung has covered that story since it took over. What's name? J. Juan Jung is I mean that's the Internet weeks ago. That's an old school name right there. That's American. That's like salt of the Earth name. It's like John Smith. Two tonight. J. Juan is sharing why that juror says people are not getting the full picture. We're not getting.

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gonna get it.

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We're good. Thank you. out of my courtroom. I was like, wait a second. I know this man. Just like millions of others, Mario Perez has seen this viral video of Harris County Judge Nathan Milliron in a tense exchange with an IT worker. But unlike most, Mario was inside Judge Milliron's court for the past four weeks. He was just very even, very neutral. Mario was a juror for a trial happening in the 215th District Court where Judge Milliron presides. That trial involving a personal... Bad face.

that face injury case wra last friday. Now Mario i about what happened inside on camera happened during one days of the trial. They ha us and put us back into because they were sorting with the audio and video.

Oh, he meant deliberatio the video spread quickly a to the jury. I'm there an rude to anybody. But he t never addressed it in qu the judge should apologiz If he apologize, then wh

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be so flippant and and and cute and no. Brad. I know where you're at. So, he shouldn't apologize because then, you know, the then the IT was the IT guy. I mean, unless he said something which we haven't heard. Yeah, is it selective editing?

I doubt it because we also saw the the attorneys the defense attorney council and I don't me and attorneys we not Yeah, so for me to be defending a bunch of the defense attorneys is and this guy what a douche canoe This guy is me and everybody associated with it. It's just I mean this Though the judge shouldn't is this guy sucking up to the judge for some reason? I'm just it

What did the what did the there it is? I don't know why it self a little bit more serious and professional flippant and and cute and also present himself a little bit more serious and professional but attorney So the it guy wasn't serious and professional enough. blow me He might what a douche can I mean that's ridiculous to say that the judge shouldn't apologize

I mean, am I wrong? Of course I'm not. No, you're never. I know. I have a documented time. I mean, don't state the obvious. But that just irritates the shit out of me. like, no, the judge shouldn't apologize because then maybe the IT guy could have been, you know, more professional. Really? Yeah, that's I get it. mean, that's so can I just let me I don't want to bitch for a moment. I just actually want to. It's OK.

I do. but see, like, I just want to point out something here that everybody can play this game, Brad, the audience, everybody. If you ever because I have the worst posture in the world, I know if you've ever noticed that about me, but I can I can sit like this. I can do this number. I can just I can put this leg up here and just lean and all this stuff. Can you get your ankles behind your ears? Not for you. So the thing is back there. So so you'll recall that at one time that I did.

speaker-1 (42:43.022)

I was going to bring that up but since you did. Why do I talk? Why? Why? Seriously? Like, why do I So I got I got the elbow surgery. In fact, there's the there's the scar still still doing it. Right. Still doing its thing. And what I've what I've discovered since that surgery is that my poor posture in this chair. This is a this is a straight back chair. This is like an old school like I don't know if you can see this. Oh, maybe it's one. It's old. that.

See that it's like an old school like that. It's like my grandma's era chair, right? Where your grandma from where your grandma stay. And so, and so I've got this, this really to, to, to, to counter my lean on the surgically repaired elbow. Okay. I've got this very foamy thick.

pillow. Pillow. But but I mean, this is the thickest frickin pillow that you that's ever existed. Yes, somehow I managed to lean so hard into the left like this. Wait a minute. are you have you considered buying that it's it's hurting my chair, like a good chair to sit in.

days a week I do this nonsense and then I get up after two hours and I'm like damn I thought I was making progress on this thing. You know why am I such a dumb ass? is dumb ass two words or one word? What say you? I say today it's one word. I wouldn't even throw a hyphen in there. Hold on a second. This is fun actually hang on. You remember how I've always said why can't I do a poll on this on this streaming thing?

a stripper poll. Right, right. Okay. So, uh is is dumb ass slash dumb ass one or two? Dumas. Word is Dumas. Yes, sir, mister dumb ass. Yes, sir, mister. I love Dumas, Wyoming. It's by the way. It's Dumas. Okay. Dumb ass. So, you have to vote for I've never done one of these polls. I've never experimented with this feature. Oh, you've got a few polls. In college. Right? Is that what you're referring to?

speaker-1 (45:00.888)

Told you I got the pictures. Hold on. Did did that show up a start in show start and show? I don't know. Here we go. Start and show. What does that mean? look at that. There's a poll on the screen. See that and people can I don't know. People vote like where's the chat? Like is that the chat on on act? What chat is that? I don't know. People tell me start typing in twos and ones. People just start typing it in. Seriously, I have no idea.

where this appears, who can play? I type a one in and nothing happened. So I'm going to guess it must be... Does StreamArt have a chat? Apparently they do, but we don't know where it is. I don't get it.

disappear. It's just there. can make it disappear. Well, look at that. People are voting. Look at this. It's 5050. Where are they doing this? I don't know. I don't know. Where are they hiding? Are we hiding the poll? Are we playing hide the poll? Hold on a second. I had not planned to play hide the poll today. Hold on. You just reminded me. Go to YouTube and type in type in Howard Dean hide the salami. Do it. Just do it.

is so I don't know how are people voting like if I just hit one repeatedly I just hit one and nothing happened. I just hit one. How do you know? Are we not affecting it by hitting one? I don't know. Are we? I don't know. I keep typing one and one keeps getting higher and higher. I don't even know. I don't even know if that's my answer. I'm just typing one to see. think I think it's literally just typing on the screen and that does it.

I found the Keith Olbermann version or- Time out, time out. Hold on a second. I got to counter this because I voted once so many times that I need to bring it back down because I actually think it's- You need to knock the poll down a little bit. It's two words. Come on. It's Knock the poll back. Because you're an ass and then you're a dumb ass. Right? You can be an ass without being dumb. Yeah. So it's two words. It's about choices.

speaker-1 (47:10.444)

Mary, I don't see how to vote either. think you just type a number, somebody type a three and see if it makes the poll explode. Wait, hold on. gosh. Here we go. Okay. So it looks like it's about to explode to me. so, you have to, I don't want Keith Overman. I don't want, okay. But that's, that's, that's the only thing that came up with Howard Dean hide the salami. I mean, there's your choices right there. Hang on.

Howard Dean scream. You got your salami hiding Howard Dean. But he's on. Okay, so I gotta I've gotta use I gotta I see what you're talking about. So I've got to use Keith Olbermann because he's the only one that I guess broadcasted at the time. Alright, so put the Olbermann clip up there. Do you believe that the president can claim executive privilege? Certainly president can claim executive privilege. But in this case, I think with a lifetime appointment of the Supreme Court, you can't play

uh you know hide the the uh salami or whatever it's called you've got it right all right so so what is he talking about bush and his uh crazy um crazy uh executive privilege and all that stuff uh what did he say before i don't oh no no i'm focused on hide the salami i don't even know what he said i'm you i'm about to show you who uh you're showing me the salami i'm showing you who he was apparently according to howard dean all right uh hiding the salami with it was uh one

Harriet Myers, you'll recall, that he originally appointed to the Supreme Court. We got Alito out of that, right? I think so. Because of course, you can't give a Republican president credit for an excellent Supreme Court justice because they tried to screw it up. He tried to screw it up when Harriet Myers became Alito, I think. Right? Is that right?

Meyers. Let's see. for blah, blah. Yeah. Yeah. Alito. Sam Alito. See, in other words, we, we, we dumb lucked ourselves into Sam Alito. Nice. It was W because it was Renquist that passed away. And then I guess Bush thought, well, I guess I have to replace him with another chief justice. And that's how we got, John Roberts.

speaker-1 (49:31.634)

And that's not how it works Bush. she asked to she asked W to withdraw the nomination. That's because we hate we hated the pick nomination create a bird for the White House and its staff. That was if I'm not mistaken, that was Bush wins reelection and then just fumbles away privatizing Social Security fumbles away the Supreme Court nomination. Just did he fumble it or did he intentionally drop it? Because looking back,

I mean, remember after after W was out of office, he started hanging around with Clinton and Obama and we discover, well, they're all kind of, isn't that special? Isn't that great? We're all starting to get along. Then you stop and you realize, wait, they're all the same. Are they dumb asses or dumb asses? Well, in this case, they would be dumb asses because there's several of them and they're dumb. So it'd be dumb asses. Well done, sir.

front of the class for you. Every now blind squirrel and an acorn on occasion. That's all. What do you do? You find nuts? I'll look for so I was not judging. I need to there's a lot of nuts in the front yard need to be sucked. I still haven't done I've sucked a lot of nuts in that front yard too. And I mean, I mean pounds and pounds worth and it was it was a lot of poundage. It's all it's tough. It's not easy. out time out.

In the front yard? the front yard. Oh, they're two big live oaks and they, uh, they put, hold on, on to the police patrol your neighborhood. Uh, well, sometimes, uh, only people complain, you know, about the noise. Wow. Because the, the vacuum can make a bit of a noise, but, other than that, it's just, okay. I, yeah. The, eight court and you saw, I knew that's what you meant. Um, all right. So, um, I haven't had a chance to talk about this. This is the last week or something.

the pilots that were this is how I would operate if I were a pilot with the microphone and I was just up there in the friendly skies for my mind.

speaker-0 (51:45.322)

Meow meow

speaker-1 (51:47.758)

This is why you still fly an RJ. Oh, regional jet. See, that's one pilot. From one pilot to another, you understand what I'm saying. I just want to send a thank you to whoever transcribed this for us there, typing out meow, meow, and woof, woof, woof for us. was They say they're being investigated. Meow. Meow.

Why are we investigating? What's to investigate? That's awesome. Now, somebody, if the plane crashes because of that, that's not awesome. But I mean, come on. Come on. Yeah, well, I'm with you. I'm with you. gotta look. That's no place for stand up time. know, leave that to the stewardess back there in the cabin. Unless she's hot. In which case, she's acceptable. if it's a chick on there meowing, you're like, all right, because who wants to see it, hear a dude meow?

I'm gonna sit. This is where he's still fucking guys, Hold on.

Unless it's the kitten lawyer. yeah. Love the kitten lawyer. Let me let me let me close the tabs here. I got I got way too much going on here. Stand by. just shut them bad boys down. Can I just for the I want to point this out because I'm always ripping on Cash Patel who I wanted. Is he drunk? Well hold on. I'm going to ask you this. Hang on because remember when when when when Trump won.

I wanted RFK at HHS more than anything. And my second one was Cash Patel at FBI. Absolutely wanted that. that was, boy, you talking about picking a stock and then it going bankrupt, but I wouldn't have any experience with that, right, Brad? Nope. Cumulus has been very good to you. Literally filed for bankruptcy. then I was like, wait, I should probably open this app more often. Anyway, check on my stocks. So I opened up Twitter today.

speaker-1 (53:45.998)

getting ready for the show, looking for something else. And the thing that popped up was this story. And you know how our mutual friend who you do the Saturday night or Saturday morning live show with. The Saturday night stuff we don't talk about. Jeffy, he says, who among us, right? He says that about a lot of stuff. right, right, yep. Who among us hasn't peed outdoors? Now, I don't know. Like, I don't know the details on this at all. But FBI Director Cash Patel disclosed in the 2005 letter that he'd been arrested. I haven't clicked on this story. I didn't have time.

for public urination. He also described a public intoxication arrest in 2001. Okay, so that's never happened to me, but I have.

speaker-1 (54:27.084)

I've done both. Let's just say that some doing it right now. Dirty rotten scoundrels. May I go to the bathroom? Of course. Thank you. So let's just say that. You know what? I don't know. Well, I spent two nights in LA County Jail.

for doing what? Ran my firebird into a tree on Bacardi 151 looking for a woman. Have you ever peed on a courthouse? Well, I never peed on a courthouse. Peed on a tree. I got in trouble for doing that when I was in kindergarten in Kansas, Parsons, Kansas. You can't get in trouble for peeing on a courthouse if you were in high school at the time and you're almost 50, right?

speaker-1 (55:21.102)

The courthouse had it coming to it. Let me just say, of course it did. Okay. So, uh, what happened to your, like your firebird? mean, uh, those are tough cars. mean, it's a 67 firebrass got a tough front end on it. I just, uh, yeah, you just, uh, Oh, hold on. You know what? In, school, speaking of with, I, uh, I never read directions. So I would take whole tests and then turn them in. And then the teacher was like, man, you're a dumb ass one word. And I'd be like, Oh,

it actually says it actually says is dumb ass slash dumb ass one or two words and then it actually says type one or two in the chat. you knew that. I mean, that's why I was I said, where's the chat? So, I didn't know which chat it was talking about. Is that is it the I didn't know you're referring to that. I thought you were looking for the poll over in the chat. Well, I I'm looking for I'm always looking for the you're always looking for the poll in the chat but

But where is the stream yard chat? I who's watching on stream yard right now? I that's a good question because they're on X or YouTube, right? So there is no nobody's watching on stream yard. think it's I think it's when they type somebody right now. Just just type on X one or two if you haven't voted yet. And let's just see and see. See, I think it just takes it from your.

It takes it from your chat, from your wherever you are. You're guessing. Yeah, I'm guessing. So I just typed it to no one else is no one else can follow directions apparently. Well, Mary can. Thank you, Mary. And Kara can 60 to 40 if you're listening and who don't ask one word is winning. Where would you listen on Spotify and Apple and whatnot? Live on Spotify? No, not live. Not like later on. Now you can't vote because it's too late. You know, you ruined it for him.

right now 60 to 40 dumb **** one word is winning. My goodness. This is going to be a podcast record for for dumb **** references. It might be. Dumas. That's Dumas. let's see what else I I still don't know where the hell the I because you can't watch on Stream Yard. Can you? No, you can't. this is from Toby. he said to you Ergo Ergo. Happy sitting.

speaker-1 (57:49.262)

because you've got a problem and Toby said those are the places where you oh, those look like fart makers. Fart maker. What's a fart maker? Leslie Nielsen's fart maker. That's what it looks like what they're sitting on. Oh, oh yeah. But I want to lean, bro. I'm pretty sure you can lean on those. No, mean, lean off to the side little bit, you know. You can lean off to the side, why can't you? Contrarian. Hey, Daguerre Bear is going to be a guest on the Thursday deep dive coming up on May 21st.

And we're going to talk about crypto and whatnot. And he just sent a lovely gift box. have one somewhere. Well, I know where it is. I just haven't picked it up because it's as the tire people. Their fault, too. Is that like a race from a distant planet? The tire people? Yes. Yeah. They are there. They're a lot like the what the hell are they called? Doctor Who? What the hell is not PragerU? That's the name I couldn't think of this morning.

what are they called the doctor who the the tarot that's not the dollocks dollocks nailed it thank you he flies in a tartis and he shoots at the dollocks well he didn't shoot at them he points at them with attitude

speaker-1 (59:09.932)

I'll tell you this though, you can try to be funny all you want, but don't you dare try to touch me when we go to the bar to celebrate the Hawks championship. Weirdo. bucks. See how much? 100 bucks.

you do it. 50. Oh, I'm pointing up. I'm pointing down. So, so thank you to Garbear for the gift. This is mostly for the dogs. Uh you got see it's a I swear I thought that said dog poop. It says doggy dry. Oh my gosh. Hang on. I gotta tell you about an awesome Instagram follow. Uh 7up. Uh 7 Pup. Pup. Thank you. Doggy poop and I can't even reach in here and uh this is

This is Pant Panta 100 % slobber. Reach around it. No. What? You can get in there better if you do that. This is Dr. Pupper. You see that? Dr. Pupper, know, crinkle crinkle. So the dogs are going to have fun with this. Now, of course, you know, like the hierarchy Tanner's going to get to decide first and then Matilda and then Winnie gets the leftovers. This is going to be kind of fun. It's like a Post-it note holder. That's a dumpster fire. See, look at that. That's fun. So thank you there.

I wish all of my guests would send me gifts before they appear on the show. I miss the girls. Oh, double-sided tape so can hang out more crap back here. Or you could put that on your butt and keep you from falling out of your chair.

might work. And then look at this, man. This is nice. This is like a like a three piece drinkware set. Look at that thing. So it's going to go back here. you break that? I was going to say it's going to sit on a shelf until it falls and breaks. look at that. Like a little potion bottle thing. It's all uptown. You're to get all uppity and stuff. I need shelf space, man. Come and build me something. Jeffy Apologist said, am I hallucinating or is Brad here today? No, you are hallucinating. I felt like a dig. I'm not really here.

speaker-1 (01:01:12.87)

look at this. It's like a glass and who you calling Tardis, Brad? See Tyler, I understood that one. I got it. I got it. You know what, Brad? Everybody misses the girls. Why don't you do this? Why don't you why you go on put on like a little skirt or something do a little twirl for us there. wait. I already have it on. I could just get up and do the twirl. Okay. So, what else do we want to talk about here? I got some more crap here. ****

Like I said, how long to break it? About five minutes. Take care of it. Don't look. It's good. It's tough. Did you? want to play some animal videos here. It's been forever since I played animal videos. Kevin K did send, no, he sent the show your age. You get a point for each one of these things you've used. gosh. A fax machine. no. Hold on. Hold on. Time out. Time out. Stop going. you have the...

You have it on the screen there? I don't because it's in a thing. Hold on. I can probably see how to get it. You've given me crap before when you've sent me a text and I'm like, I can't put it on the screen because it's on my phone. And now you sent me something on the phone. said, hey, can you put it on the screen? And you're like, no, it's on the phone. I'm a lowly guest. I don't have all the powers, the secret powers that you have. You said it to me, I love that. You know why? Because I don't know that I love it actually now I think about it because I got all 20.

I've used all 20 of them. All these technology things from. Let's see if I do it that way.

Like if I try to slam it in over here, I might be able to do this. wait a second. I bet I can. I'll bet I can't hang on a second. If I do that and then pop it over here and do that, it's going to work son of a nope. It's not going to work. all right. Fine. I'll it. I tried. I did try next time. Try emailing it to me if you want to use it on the show. Be this, it requires about four extra steps that I just didn't

speaker-1 (01:03:15.584)

Don't feel like it. I'm with you. I'm with you. Look, let me be honest with you, You're just not worth it. I'm not gonna lie. My friend David has decided he is not he is going to avoid technology. So he only has a flip phone now. And, and I can't send link if I send him a link. He's like, No, send it to my email. I'm like, No, it's no, your decision to go checklist is not my so he's kind of like the trans guy.

Basically, hey, you should do this for me, especially. Nope. You're just not going to know what I had said, which is fine. I mean, if you don't want to know about the coolest thing you've ever probably seen in your life. then he's then he he texts you and he says, Hey, I'm texting you from my smartphone that I had to get so I could communicate with you. Right. Yeah. Well, no, because his wife is pissed too. Cause I talked to her and she's like, yeah, I won't do it either. I'm like, he's, he's the one missing out. Your techlessness does not translate to me. Extra efforting.

Not gonna do it. So Brad, what I'm going to do is I'm gonna hold this up to the camera and you're gonna quickly just go through these one through 20 and people can think in their minds of how many of these they have used, okay? Again, I'm 20 for 20 because I'm old. Can you read that? Facts meant well, I can read it off my thing because I don't have to read it off yours. yeah, okay, so hold on, but I guess the audience might wanna see it, I don't know. We are so dumbasses. Why is it so fuzzy?

Rotary phone, encyclopedia. Okay, hold on a second. Fax machine, rotary phone, encyclopedia, go ahead. Floppy disk. AOL address. I'm 12. Record player. Record player. Dial up internet. Film camera. Mixed, see that this is not a mixed tape, it's a mixed tape. I can't let that go either. Mixed tape. A phone booth. Cursive writing.

Checkbook, typewriter, dictionary. That doesn't make you old. You got a dictionary on your phone. VCR, paper map, water bed, postcard, Walkman, phone book. Can I just say on the paper map thing? I used to plot out my drives just on the weekend. on the weekend, you'd plot out a drive. Nerd Central, man. Nerd alert. It was someplace that I hadn't been to. Sure. Like

speaker-1 (01:05:41.78)

Let me tell you when I got my first GPS. It's when I started working for Glenn in 2009. And Nana, for like a gift, a get the hell out of wherever you live and go to New Jersey gift. She got me a GPS, like a Garmin or something, you know? Bro, I'd still be trying to find that hotel in Newark, New Jersey, if not for that GPS unit. Like I don't think I could have ever gotten there with a paper map.

It's a good idea to have a paper map in your car in case the battery dies. Right. Or if like an EMP goes off, you're going to need to know how to get back. Yep. So that's and, as far as a phone book is concerned, you've got one of those on your phone. yeah. All these are like on your phone. Right. It's just electronic. A walkman you have on your phone. postcard. Those are a pain in the ass anyway. What, you know, what do you ever do with postcards? You're supposed to keep them.

Do you keep them or do you read them and throw them away? Or do you keep them? Because I just happen to have, I found a box here and there's a bunch of them in there. But what do do with them? It's like old letters. How long do you keep the gift cards? I mean, the greeting cards? Honestly, I read it and it's in the garbage. I mean, honestly, I'm not leaving unless it's Christmas season. And then and then 26. Right. put them up. But is that these? mean,

But like the ones that have the picture of the whole family in them and you're like, Oh, do you throw them away? got a picture that you keep. Hold that thought because listen to this, you know, like when, when, when Nana and Papa, um, you know, back in the day, uh, they would get so many Christmas cards and it would, it would cover the, uh, the large entrance into their formal room. They would tape them up and all that stuff. And then, and then the heat, the dry heat from the,

from the HVAC would make the tape lose its, then it'd fall and you had to re-tape them up. And those were good times, know, the panel walls and stuff. And then what happened was I noticed as time went on, there were less and less cards. It wasn't that Nana and Papa were less and less popular. It was that all of their friends were dying. it's a good way to keep track of mortality. And they were getting, it's like either I pissed somebody off or so-and-so must have died and I just never heard about it. Yeah. So now I'm gonna put you on the spot.

speaker-1 (01:08:02.542)

Did you get your April 1st dish? Yes, as a matter of that's the one I was thinking of that's sitting on the counter now. And it's like, nobody wants to throw it away. Why I'll come over and I'll throw it away for you. So, so my family is so, and I know we're not unique, but we are so freaking busy that like we said in September, we should get a family picture. And when Aslan comes to town, we should do this. When Aslan comes to town, we'll do the, okay. And then September comes October and November for the Christmas card for the Christmas card.

Right. And then then Simmer comes in and like, OK, we didn't get a card out. Well, it's January. Well, we'll do. And then, OK, all right. You know what? We're doing a family cruise in February. Let's we'll take a picture of five of us and then we'll take the picture and whatnot. And family cruise. Yeah, we did a family cruise. OK. It was it was like goodbye. Yes, right. Time, know, so it was like, you know, one last hurrah.

My gosh, I'm sorry that what my family chooses to do. I just pissed you off. thought about it. And I just, it's surprising because. So it was the first cruise that I'd been on. I'd been on two now. I did one when I was in seventh grade, Nana and Papa. I mean, there's nothing cooler than being in seventh grade, hanging out on a cruise ship with your grandparents. Am I right? Yes, you're right. You are correct. It was, it was, it was me, my recently divorced dad.

and Nana and Papa and boy you want to talk about a crazy wacky time for all. Actually I had great memories from all the kids that I met on that ship. But. It's awkward for your dad because he's seeing all the and he's like well yeah my parents here and my kid. Yeah I know well he was not with us very often on that trip. Well that's well there you go. I was running around with the kids the old. you know where he was. So.

I started to say, so, oh, so we took a picture and then, and we were gonna get it out for like around, we were gonna joke around and say, hey, it's for Valentine's Day. Well, then that day passed. Hey, I would do it for St. Patrick's Day. And then April 1st, it didn't even get out until after April 1st. cause you know what? I was watching the masters while putting those into, in the envelopes. So that's how long it took to get our Christmas card out three and a half months late. And I looked at it, was like, what, what's this up in?

speaker-1 (01:10:25.23)

And did you see how to write on the back? I couldn't figure that one out. And I was like, and then now it's sitting there on the counter and I don't know what to do with it. I had no idea. Throw it away. If you don't do that, it's a picture.

that a VCR? It is. I've got a new unboxed VCR in my closet as we speak. Yes, sir. A new unboxed or not? Unboxed. I'm sorry. It's still in the box. The difference. You are drunk. What is in? Wait a second, though. You've only got one. Hang on. There's one. Well, I I have one brand new one that's never been opened, but I have like three in the house.

And thanks to the carnets for the carnets are really good to us here at the motel. This is actually a D. It's a DVD recorder. so you can go from VHS to DVD. That's awesome. I've not I've not tried to us all the accessories and it's got the little SD card here and it's got all it's got like the remote. That's I think they stole this and it to me. Can I just say

The only reason I have a VCR and it's pointless is that I said to myself, self, you should buy a VCR and keep it boxed up until you, because one day you'll need it when the other one breaks, the other two. Right? Because you'll definitely want to watch the old Falcons games, you know, when they had a good game every now and then when you were younger.

Yeah, that's called the internet and I can find all of these until the bomb goes off and then I'll wait. No, because that if it's an EMP that'll erase the tapes too. I'm F'd either way. No, no, no, no, it won't erase the tapes. EMP won't erase the tape. That's magnetic. Yeah, but it's a momentary pulse and a pulse I'm pretty sure would not erase the tape. Let me show you this. got this new this fancy new addition to the set here. I call this a set. I call it the corner of a trashed out room. But anyway,

speaker-1 (01:12:36.01)

So this is a whiteboard that I can demonstrate. I want to show you this is, we're going to talk about the price of the VCR. So this is about 1983, whenever my family got one and it took like seven months of salary for my dad to buy one. And I remember the first time I've talked about this where he was test recording on Murder She Wrote. Look that up. Look up Murder She Wrote, Peps. I'm wrong. So anyway, and so, I need to write.

bigger. So I got bigger. You got bigger. so what happened was, we came home and we knew he was testing it. And I just remember I was being very quiet because I didn't want to disturb the recording the test recording on the VCR because I'm a dumb ass one or two. Well, but you were courteous dumbass. And that's the important thing. So so the price was, you know, I have no idea what they paid. But you know, as technology came along, and then you get start getting the DVD to creep in, then the price plummets, right?

But then, then there's so few, I don't know what this economic lesson is all about, by the way. I'm just telling you what happened. average price of a VCR in 1983, $528 to $550. What is that in today's cash? More. Yeah. So then, then, then when it became like they stopped making or whatever, then you go to eBay and the price was ridiculous. I swear, if you look up a chart, VCR prices over the year.

it will reflect this. $1700 today. $528 is $1700. Grief. And my dad was a state employee. So, okay. He skimming off the top, he? Right. Damn right he was. So, check this out. And then he left it to that. Sorry. I'm talking about on the cruise. Yeah. Alright. So, then the price spikes about 20 years ago. But then, then people realize, okay.

It's completely dead. And now the price is like down here through the floor. So you could get any number of VCRs. You buy 10 of them. I want you to- Could you do me a favor? Could you look up VCR price over the years? I just did. Oh, sorry. My bad. $528 in 1983, which is $1,753 today. And you didn't even- I love MapQuest. That was my thing, by the way. I would print off those directions before I get in the car. That was like when digital- That's when analog or what have you met digital.

speaker-1 (01:15:02.67)

is when you would put in the directions and then print out MapQuest and you are hot stuff, man. And they're still there. Where is the I don't know who typed massage into the. Wait a minute, what is the parlor of entertainment? What is happening? What I'm looking at MapQuest, there's a place on there, some parlor of entertainment. OK, map it. Hey, whatever. So can you I don't see the VCR price chart over the year. VCR price chart. I guess I have to do it myself, you know.

whatever. I over the years, I'll be your dumbass. I thought you were about to say you could kiss a good man's. Okay, hold on. Let me see here. Maximum maximum price. I love Maxim. That was a great magazine verb. That was back when What's Your Face was thin and not fat. Check on cooking channels of Food Network. Am I? What's her name? Who you're talking about? yeah, you do.

She did the hot spread in Maxim with like the frosting all over her and Rachel Ray. this is a stock. I was about to say that's about what I just showed you, but it's not. at that. Look at everything is moving on there. That's pretty amazing. This Vanguard Consumer Discretionary Fund. Are you even drinking again? You got your green stuff going on, your red stuff there and your blue thing and it's moving. VCR price chart over the year. I don't want the stock.

appliance. I mean, this is, this show is insane. I haven't even gotten to my show prep today. on a second. Don't you remember, don't you remember Rachel Ray? always F no, it was not maximum. It was FHM. There you go. And she was, what early odds. You don't remember Rachel Ray doing this? I know who that is, but I don't, I'm sorry. I was looking at.

charts there. Well, now, if you're gay, I can understand you not wanting to see this picture of Rachel Ray. But well, I remember her but I didn't know she did that. No, I was FHM and she's she's she had like the the batter all over her. And and Food Network was not very happy about that. Although I think they secretly were even though they were run by the gay mafia. So they really didn't care. But

speaker-1 (01:17:27.182)

They were they weren't happy publicly, but I think behind the scenes they were happy because, you know, put her on the map. lately that's what put her on the map. Oh, it didn't hurt. I mean, you go into a magnet, you get covered with batter like that in the magazine and some sort of glazing. That's batter. That's a sink overflowing. And she's pouring out water on her legs and she has water. It looks more like some sort of a glaze.

It does. It's like, it's a glaze. It's it's a colander glaze. She got hair on her legs. Because that's a that's a game. That's no, that's no, that kills it right there.

Uh, for anybody who wants to know. Boy, how times have changed. Jeff. You apologize. It says some sort of glaze. That's what it is. It's a glaze. I'm trying to figure out what to play here. Hang on. Hang on a second. Let's see here. Uh, here we go. Let's do this right here. Did you see this video? Oh, by the way, there are a couple of cuss words in this. Um, and about, I quoted the guy in here and somebody got mad at me for using foul language.

All I was doing was quoting him. So in my caption. So here you go. If you didn't see this, just prepare yourself for some fun and some naughty language. here we go. on him. attention on him. This is what you don't do in Florida, which is fish on the side of a pond.

speaker-1 (01:19:03.181)

Warbacchus, warbacchus. Yeah, you don't want to get pulled in.

We got him. You gotta keep that tension on his ass. Keep that tension on his ass.

I don't remember. Oh my dad. That is a tin. You just caught a fucking tin. Damn. What the fuck? Oh no. Did you see what happened? No, I was looking down. Damn it. You're a dog. I am. A gator came and said, thanks for lunch, bitch. Wow. Look at him. And he looks over there. Looks like a crocodile.

speaker-1 (01:19:45.486)

looking over like, he flipped in the bird and ate his fish. Look at this. Hold on. Hold on. Let me zoom in here. That would scare the dog. yeah, dude. It came right at him. Look at this. Don't come at me, bro. He's about to reach down to get it out of the wall. Whoa. You know, Gators are fast. Yeah. You can quote me on that. Yeah, they are fast. I do. I have something fast.

speaker-0 (01:20:03.662)

no.

speaker-1 (01:20:16.142)

you want to something fast? Well, I look down at the screen and it's Rachel Ray. No, no, no. It's this this it's this fast. This guy. This guy. Okay. Here we go. This guy. He's like the fastest. Let me make this. This guy has a unique talent. His name is Ken Lee and he has the fastest hands in the world. You won't believe it. Watch this. Pause it. I want to take this guy on. I don't know. I haven't seen this.

I'm not sure once you see him, Fasti is, I don't know. We're going to put this to the test here in just a second. But you just show me Mr. Lee here. Go ahead.

speaker-1 (01:20:55.566)

And if you think this video has been speed up through editing, then you're wrong. He made several videos with a timer to prove it.

speaker-0 (01:21:02.414)

speaker-1 (01:21:03.726)

Oh damn, okay. Still wanna take him on? Yeah, I'm gonna try this, okay, you ready? See this? See this guy right here? I do. All right, so this, watch this. Interesting angle right there too. I gotta be like him. What's he do? He gets a little free hand. Oh yeah, did see that? You see it, Brad? No, you didn't. You grabbed it. You grabbed it fast. Yeah! You were fast. Oh wait, you don't believe me? I do. Of course I do, I believe you. Go ahead.

Let's see what he does. Hello! this music copyrighted, you SOB? I doubt it. It's, uh, it sounds like some sort of background creator music. Okay, go ahead. It doesn't sound like car. It's not Cardi B. It's not that good. This guy has a unique talent. Yeah, we know. it. Pause it. I'm to show you this. this. What? What? You're impressed. Admit it. I am. Thank you. I'm trying to think of what I can do that with.

See that?

Alright, here. You ready? Hold on. Let's get let's get this guy off the screen. I want to see you. You ready? Okay.

I just took it and put it back. Brad! I'm so proud of you, bro. I took it and put it back. hold on. I'm going to take it, spin it around my head, and then put it back. You ready? Yeah.

speaker-1 (01:22:31.438)

That was insane, bro. That was serious. If you guys are on Spotify, I would encourage you to go to youtube.com slash at at the Mike show so you can see this. I want to watch this again. yeah, you're fast. You got fast hands. Thank you. Thank you. Play a game of Jack's with him. Well, or or I have two of these and I'm just messing with your mind. See, I'm like, I'm so no, you wouldn't do that. You wouldn't do that. No, I don't. I it. It He watches. And then here's a slow motion replay.

speaker-0 (01:22:40.546)

yeah!

speaker-1 (01:23:04.27)

see, it's you wouldn't do that. I just I don't you wouldn't do that. One more time. Here we go. What's this? What's this? Except it's upside down. See that? You you can get wrong. you know, you weren't supposed to pick up on that. I do think of the same thing. I do have a this is a funny horse video. okay.

me get your horsey video. for a horse video? It's a fun horse video. Alright. I like horse videos, I guess. no. He's gonna fart. Whoa. That's how. Pause it. Pause it. That's how Tanner lays down. No. That's how this is. He just gives up. He's just like. He's

no, did he die? Why did I know this is... Okay, this is tantrum. This whole thing is tantrum.

That other horse knew the routine, man. Look at the horse. Look at the is that a Shetland pony over there on the right? He's going to. OK, let's pause it. No, no, no, he's not. No, he's not. Let me tell you what's happened. The other horse knows the routine when that horse lays down like that. The other horse left goes. It's about to happen. The Shetland pony is a freak. He likes. He's into it. He's into it. He's he's as close as he can be to the show. You know.

You know, I never really looked at Shetland's that way, but you're right. Yeah. they're weird, man. They are weird. They are weird. And that one there has a kink. Go ahead. He does have a kink.

speaker-1 (01:24:59.468)

My mouth was full of coffee. Not fair. What? What are they feeding that horse? Rusty. And then he's like, all right, I'm I'm going to get up. And this other horse is as far away as he can possibly get. want to point out the Shetland pony has plenty of space to go anywhere. never looked at Shetlands that way.

Now I'll never look at them the same way again. This guy loves it. He's like, walked that tail? All those stories I heard about Shetland Ponies as a kid. They're true. Apparently, I always thought that they were just legend, but no, they're true. Wow. That's a Brad wins. That was a good time right there. tell you what. OK, so let me I'm looking for. OK, so this is kind of this kind of sweet, right? Come on.

it's a blind cat that's enjoying the snow. How do know it's blind? Cuz that's what they said in the caption. See? Okay. This blind cat experiencing snow for the first time. How does she know it's blind? Maybe the cat just ignores you because it's a cat. It's not blind. It just hates you. It refuses to respond. Is it trying to clap? No, it's it's to figure out what is happening around it. you know what? Let me tell you something.

You know what? The girls would have liked this video. Huh? They're cat people's. Helen Keller's favorite color. Corduroy.

speaker-0 (01:26:37.646)

You're welcome.

speaker-1 (01:26:42.51)

You know, they say she was a giant biatch too. And the whole thing was a lie. That was another one of those things we learned as a kid about the amazing things that Helen Keller did. And it was all bullshit. It was her caretaker, her handler, whatever, the handler's husband. She was a pinko, right? Yeah, was. Yeah, she's a pinko commie. yeah, so yeah, that's right. one off your list, too. So this is a sweet dog. I mean, look at this. This dog has patience.

No, it's waiting for its slowpoke owner like oldie mcgolderson here and then it's like, okay, do do do do do do Is he gonna pull a willy wonka? Wait, what do you mean? Look at that dog? How sweet is that dog? When jean wilder comes out like that when willy wonka remember and then he does the tumble and oh Sorry, man, your references are just too deep for me. Oh, hang on

speaker-1 (01:27:37.966)

Okay, tell me, tell me, tell me, me on this on this video. Tell me, me, me. Show me, show me, show me. That's right. You're right. How you do that trick. The one that makes me scream, said. The one that makes me laugh, she said. That's right. Through her arms around my neck. That's right. All the wow. You promised you'll run away with me. We never knew, did we? Okay, so check this out. All right. All right. Tell me. Okay. The way you

get into someone's brain is you, you, you, you play something like this and you put the words at the bottom and it makes your brain hear the stuff. Okay. That's called a McGurk McGurk effect. Thank you. Okay. So I feel like that's what they're trying to do with this. Cause my brain isn't hearing what they're putting on the screen. And I'm genuinely asking you and this beautiful audience, am I the only person who doesn't hear the words that they are saying? They swear that the whales

know how to speak humanese now. Okay, so here we go. We got the human saying it and then we got the whale saying it. Bye bye. Bye.

speaker-1 (01:28:50.456)

Yep. I'm not alone, I heard bye bye, but then I was expecting bye bye. Hold on. So you heard the whale say bye bye? Yeah. What? I don't hear bye bye. One more time. Let me do this again. Bye bye. Bye. Shut up. bye. Now that one, the first one was a whale trying to say bye bye.

The second one was just like filler time. It may be a tarred whale, it was a- Bye bye. Bye.

No, that is bull crap. If my dog responded like that, I would not give it a treat. The first one I would for effort. You know, Helen Keller's dog was always pissed off. Why? Because if your name was. You'd be pissed off, too.

Did it did it answer to that? Like it's time. Okay, try this. Try this. She doesn't know. I want you to say she never did. I want you to say in Helen Keller ease. I want you to say the dog's name. It's time for supper. Go.

speaker-1 (01:30:03.182)

We're waiting for you to say. I was all of hear the stuff about supper though. No, I was in there. You just didn't. You didn't listen right. in there? Are you sure? Yeah, I'm positive. That is the sound of an orca well saying bye bye. The hell it is. Stop it. Researchers have found the whales to be able to imitate human words, names, and even a blow. Even a blow rasp. Can we not? Can we proofread the graphics? No, no one does. And even a blow raspberries.

you

That's a horse! We just saw the video! That's the horse you played!

speaker-0 (01:30:42.606)

Amy!

speaker-1 (01:30:47.832)

Did she say blow me? No, said Amy. And then it was Helen Keller. I heard.

speaker-0 (01:30:55.72)

Hello

speaker-1 (01:31:02.382)

And they're editing this stuff. So we're supposed to just assume that the whale said it right after. Bullcrap, they have 5,000 hours of whale out there like splice it in so we can get more research done. I was going to say they got a grant to do this. I could make the whale say all I could make the whale say mother. I could do all kinds of then if the government officials were to ever want to come out and see this for themselves, you would just keep putting them off like fireplace Eldon

Yep.

speaker-1 (01:31:36.636)

One, two, get out of my face!

speaker-0 (01:31:39.374)

Peace!

speaker-1 (01:31:41.39)

One, two. Oh, God. All right, bull crap. The whale is farting. It's not counting. The whales are talking to each other. Listen, I'm going to tell them today. They're trying to make me say one. I'm going to blow a fart in their face. Honestly, though, this is probably severely edited, man. Stop. is... Wait, are you saying... One, two.

speaker-1 (01:32:11.252)

It's not just me that doesn't hear this stuff. One, two. Bye bye. See now we're having to loop back. See now we have so few material for our $5,000. Whales are cheating sons of bitches. bye.

speaker-0 (01:32:21.752)

Stop it!

speaker-1 (01:32:35.63)

not sharing **** Anyway, sorry. Is that noise on? Is that you or me? Or do you hear it? Is that? I don't hear it. Does the audience hear? It must be me. Uh oh. What happened? I don't know. I just hear. It's the voices in my head. Every now and then, they talk to me. What are you hearing? Just a Crawfish. Can you hear it? Where's the ladies? Crawfish says, believe me, I asked the same damn thing when I got here and he's like, they're not here. Right. And I was like, well, I can't stay and he's, no, you're already on. I'm like, okay, I'm here. Yeah, you're here, man.

and I can't. My door locked and everything. He's got the Matt Lauer door lock button and I try to get out and he and it you know, I'm a judge. Okay, it stopped. It must be on my side because I just hit the table and it stopped. Oh no. Is it is it left over from that fire? Could be. Could very well be. How do we know how many people voted? I don't like not knowing how many people. I don't know. I don't know where they voted because I'm starting to think that's uh

That's Democrat poll right there.

speaker-1 (01:33:38.158)

What are you touching? You know, was it wasn't affecting the thing. I guess there's so many votes now. You know, probably four million sample size that when I typed in a thing, didn't adjust the percentage. We just don't know where the hell vote. Yes. Rebecca is in Belgium. That's right. I couldn't remember which euro trash. And she's not very happy about the hotels there either. really? Yeah, because they're all like, hey, we don't if you want your room cleaned, you know, pin a twenty dollar bill to the door or something.

They don't automatically clean your room. Because I said that they do that here in the States too. Wait, but you have to, have to wait, hold on. Like if you want to replace, you know how in, she it's on her ex feed, but if you, like here in the States, if you, if you want new towels, you have to leave them on the floor. don't automatically come in. Okay. But I'm not pinning money to my door to say, Hey, I need a fresh towel. No, should though. Try that CF works. I don't know. I feel like that would convey a different message.

mean, I'm only paying 20 bucks for the whole hour. So I don't know what uh and that and the towels are a little dirty. I have to admit. It just were not uh they were not. How do you keep Helen Keller busy? Oh no. And give her a basketball to read. that's a thinking man. That's Kara. That's a thinking man. That's a good one. Is that a good one? Holy crap. Good job, Kara.

You know, when you learn that Kevin Taylor was a real, you know. Then it's okay. Then it's okay. it okay. Wait, what? What did she say?

Timmy fell down the well. I think. Oh no, Timmy's in the well. Again, that stupid kid. that's her orca impression. Just leave him there at this point. yeah, I do. Timmy's starting to stink. What? That's horrible. Okay, hang on a second. Let me play this for you here. These guys are funny. So. Can you hear that? Yeah, I do. Okay, just checking. Okay. Helen Keller couldn't.

speaker-1 (01:35:52.056)

just stop it straight. These guys are really funny. Here we go. Watch these guys. So they take a the broadcast. The actual broadcast is at the top. And then these guys just lip sync here like they're the announcers and they do a brilliant job. And this, I can't but this was very spring training. I remember this because it was a Braves game, but it's not the Braves announcers. So just listen to this listen to this and watch their face while this is happening. You ever seen Buck with his pants down?

no.

like shorts no like he's got he doesn't have his no socks showing. Yeah. It's so good and they do this for so many high levels. It's start for the twins here in the fourth inning. You ever seen Buck with his pants down? No. Like shorts? No, like he's got he doesn't have his no socks showing.

speaker-0 (01:36:29.934)

Nice.

speaker-1 (01:36:54.03)

That's so good. So good. Ever seen a grown man? And that's what somebody put in the chat there. Yeah. They uh Instagram. me into it. It's the Peter Graves right there. You know who his brother was? Mr. Graves. Uh yeah. Actually, yes. Mr. Graves was his brother. Um uh Sheriff Matt Dillon. Really? Peter Arness. Oh, we do. Wait, why do they have two different last names? Uh well, that mom was a little, you know,

kind of embarrassing. You know, I talk about it and for those of you under 100. Never mind. Yeah. Check this out. Check this out. Have you have you seen a man started over? Alright. Eat your Suzuki was a great what? What did you say? I thought you said eat your own Suzuki. Yeah. So he played for the Mariners and so they unveiled a statue in his honor last week and here's how it went. Now keep in mind if I

If I were the guy pulling the sheet off of the statue, this is exactly what would have happened if I were there too. Two, one, here it is. The statue of one of the greatest players. They broke the bat. They broke the bat when they took the blanket off.

I'm gonna call foul on that one. normally that's a carrot. I see it come up in ads, but anyway, I digress.

there you Alright. Alright. Look, if your bat bends when the sheet drags over it. were they skippin' on with the materials, You shitty bat is what you got right No, it's like the artist just like how how thin was that area of the statue. Right. Thank That that could happen. Your gets twisted like that from the sheet. So, so we we had we had to update the Ichiro Suzuki. Eat your own Suzuki. Yeah. Okay.

speaker-1 (01:38:48.492)

we had to update the bobble head for him and there we go now we've updated it. That's funny. That is funny. That's a good one. That's a funny funny. That's a funny that's a funny right there. I got some more funny for you. Are ready? always ready for the funny. Bring it. Bring the funny. Overload of funny today here on the Friday live stream everybody. So here we go. I love it. This is so

speaker-0 (01:39:14.51)

Can I see the menu please?

speaker-1 (01:39:19.657)

What?

speaker-0 (01:39:22.092)

The men I please is none of your business.

speaker-0 (01:39:28.536)

Can I see the menu please? Can I see the menu please?

speaker-1 (01:39:34.382)

there a black person here? Should that say it's the black chick, white dude in the office. Other dude comes in. Is there a black person here? And he's looking for a black purse. There it is right there. There's a black purse. And she was like, I don't know what to, is there a black person here? That's funny. Okay. I got a math problem for you. Ready? All right. Everybody get your thinking caps on. Here we go. Buckle up kids. Buckle up. Here we go. Thinking caps.

speaker-0 (01:40:03.82)

is this? That is $9. perfect. Okay, here's 10.

you got. And how much is this? That was $2. Okay, here, perfect. Thank you. Wait, you still owe me a dollar. Um how much do you have? Eleven dollars. Perfect. This is nine and this was two. Eleven. Okay. Hey, how

speaker-1 (01:40:26.894)

Right. mean, yeah, solid. That's, she's right. No. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no. Nine and two is 11 and a, Jake's got 11. There you go.

speaker-0 (01:40:44.416)

is this? That is nine dollars. perfect. Okay here's ten.

$2.00. And how much is this? That was $2.00. Okay, here, perfect. Thank you.

speaker-1 (01:40:55.15)

There you go. Yep. She didn't leave fast enough. What? didn't do that. So that's the mistake she made is she should have been gone by then.

speaker-1 (01:41:08.748)

same and crawfish didn't get the announcer joe sock yes yeah you did yes you did hey am i the only person that maybe seven

The person has a problem with this Brady Bunch episode. I think I remember this bugging me the first time I saw it and it still bugged me when it came up. Anyway, 1972 when Bobby and Cindy walk into the kitchen and say this to that crazy Alan.

speaker-0 (01:41:36.626)

We're ready to go, Alice. The new people on the corner invited us over to swim. Good. Find out if they've got a housekeeper. Maybe she'll invite me over. Bobby, are you wearing your new trunks or those old ones with all the holes? Uh-uh. You're not wearing your bathing suit. You're wearing your birthday suit. These swim without clothes on over there. We can't wear any if they don't wear any.

speaker-1 (01:41:59.374)

I mean come on Alice stop you you you you knew Cindy was gonna be Nate How did they I mean This is real. This is not AI. I assure you I've already done the research so the heads they have this Now do I think that the actors are naked and I do not but I mean just 70s were a different time man

speaker-0 (01:42:23.358)

Dindon there, Adam and Eve. What? Their fathers are

speaker-1 (01:42:25.462)

Whoa, whoa, What'd say about your skin down there? No, no, your neighbor. Hold on. Just

speaker-0 (01:42:31.766)

We can't wear any if they don't wear any. Who moved in down there, Adam and Eve? No, they're the Belfields. Their father's a doctor. They couldn't have much of a practice if they can't afford bathing suits. upstairs... The Belfields says the sun has lots of...

speaker-1 (01:42:46.242)

Now that's a fact, see? See, now he's got good points. But maybe you don't want to be naked at the neighbor's house, but you could go and... no, I feel like Brad's about to talk about bum. No, no, no, no, I'm just...

speaker-0 (01:42:58.67)

You're juice, you don't go swimming in it. Go on, upstairs. Why can't we go like this? You are not gonna swim in an X-rated swimming pool without your parents' permission. Alice! No buts! Out, out, out, out!

speaker-1 (01:43:25.946)

I'm not sure. not I'm not sure. I'm not I'm not sure. not sure. I'm not sure. not sure. not

And at what age do kids stop because all the time you put kids in a pool naked. I'm just questioning you going over to the neighbor's house and gonna sweat. I mean, that's a little creepy. Right. Creepy McDoctorson. I mean, come on over. Come on over, kids. By the way, it's a naked pool. and and that and that's the kind of thing where you like if you're the parents and you find out later that that was happening, someone's dying.

You had my kids over doing what? Naked in your pool. Honestly, I don't care if it's 1972 or 2026. Someone's dying. Someone's at least going to be going to the ER at the very least. Okay, now watch this. Okay, now I want you to see this here. I posted this and here's the situation. I'm him with his pants down. Have you seen him with his pants down? No. 14 year old kid.

This is I think this is what is this yeah, it's a 14 year anyway, okay, so I tweeted this out last weekend I think it was and I want you just to watch this play here It's now first of all who is allowing two teams to play especially such a high stakes game This is the state championship and they're both wearing red Because I can't properly soak in the drama if I don't know which team is celebrating correctly Which team is sad blah blah blah?

But here's what, and the reason I'm telling you what's gonna happen is because all I want you to do is everybody watching, everybody in the chat, Brad, myself, we are all this kid. We are all the second basement in life. I feel like this in so many ways that you feel like the only person that knows what in the hell is going on while everybody else, this is us during COVID, this is us in so many things.

speaker-1 (01:45:29.454)

in your own personal life, whether it's at the job or whatever, the family, this is us right here, the second baseman. So what happens is this batter has two strikes on him. His team is losing five to four, okay? There's a runner at second who represents the tying run, okay? And he represents the winning run. Two strikes, last inning, last at bat, down to their last hope, and it is... and two, two on. All right, it's a strike.

Alright, but the catcher doesn't catch the ball, but the dumbass pitcher, one word, alright, he is celebrating. And then the catcher, everybody's celebrating. Poor number 22 or 33 out here. Second baseman is the only person on the entire field that knows what's happening. Strike three! No, pick up the ball! No! Guys! And he's out! Hornell wins it! Oh, here comes the tying, Roland. Look at this poor kid!

speaker-0 (01:46:21.685)

Thanks.

speaker-1 (01:46:27.618)

you see that poor kid running around? Wait a minute, Hornell's gotta pay attention. Give me the ball!

speaker-1 (01:46:36.608)

I'm not sure what's going on here.

not sure. saw what hit ways. he's a strike but the catcher didn't catch. Okay, the catcher didn't catch. Right. The catcher drops the last strike. You can wait. Is that just on the last strike? Yeah. Because you're not out. They have to throw you out. Like, if the catcher drops the ball, if the ball hits the dirt, then you can run and now they have to throw you out. Okay. I'm not sure I knew that rule. I guess I did. I I feel I mean, this kid, I mean, we are that kid right there. Look.

wait a minute, Hornell's gotta pay attention. See what I mean by the two colors are the same? I I can't properly, I can't... How'd the catcher not know that?

speaker-1 (01:47:30.222)

I'm not sure what's going on here.

speaker-1 (01:47:35.598)

Hey, hey, so is this way the umpires good job. Well, you could have given in and said, eh, eff it game over like three, but but but how did the how did the catcher not how did the second baseman know that rule and not the catcher everybody I'm not trying to be well, how

Everybody should be taught that in. understand that. So how did the second baseman know and not the catcher because he's the only kid that understands the rules. He's the only one that I guess that gets taught fundamentals. The rest of them are illegals. They don't get it. That's what it is. You see in this. want to I want to see which color. Everybody's red. I said always gotten down to color with you. I mean, the umpires did an incredible job here. They kept their cool. They said, look, man.

He didn't catch it. The game is still going. You lost this game. Was the umpire saying that to the catcher? It's not his job to say anything to the catcher. You're a neutral observer. Call balls and strikes. If you're a neutral observer, how come you get to be all judgmental on balls and strikes then?

I mean, it just, seems like you would just at least tell the catcher, that's not a strike because he calls the strike, but he doesn't say you're out. Okay. All right. It's a strike. The end. Wait, why, why am I looking at Brad's screen? Like I'm, I'm, I'm interested in what I'm seeing down here.

Should I play it? yeah, yeah. Because this is all a very special day in, again, going back to history. This was the first release of Jane Fonda's workout. I'm not watching Jane. No, no, no, no, no. But there's a woman in here that, for those who didn't identify with the kid on second base, you identify with the woman in here. OK. Because the woman, keep an eye on this one right here. All right.

speaker-1 (01:49:38.592)

own because she is and I'll just back this up just I think I've got it queued up to the right point spot because in life sometimes you feel like the woman back there who again on the worldwide world famous

speaker-0 (01:49:51.662)

One, three, seven, To the left, one.

speaker-1 (01:49:55.999)

Alright, you're all good, you're good, but you are the woman.

speaker-0 (01:49:59.95)

six seven eight now six one five six now left one two three four five six now four one two three four and left one two

speaker-1 (01:50:04.526)

2, 3, 4

speaker-1 (01:50:20.994)

Oops. You're the only one. they caught the actual. It didn't actually. So, everybody's watching Jane instead of counting. I'm the girl in the blue. Rewind it a little bit. Rewind it a little bit. this time, I want to pay better attention to the numbers. She just, she missed. She miscounted. The girl. She miscounted. Okay. Alright. Alright. So, everybody's counting. Correct. I'm sorry. I thought.

and she's still oops she's still over on her right side. Yeah. So forever and ever amen. She is on the I was thinking if she's the second baseman then she's the only one that's doing it right. So no I said I countered the second baseman. Most of us will think sometimes we are the we're the chick in the blue. Yeah. Sometimes you're the second baseman. Sometimes sometimes you're the chick in the blue. The leotards or what have you. Right. Yeah. She's the word that doesn't get thrown out much. doesn't.

Leotards. know what, think we're afraid to say tards. I think that's what happened. I saw a whole field full of tards just now. You just showed them to us.

What? I think it's true. Wait, hold on. Kara says the announcer said out, so thinking the kids were listening to him. So he did say out.

That's what Kara says she Kara just said right there hang on I'll go back. I gotta find it make sure I didn't close it So, what do you do I work with retards isn't that a little politically incorrect? I don't care what anybody says and tell me who to love Sorry something about Mary parking lot scene. That's right. That's right Funny see that was a funny scene. You're right. Matt Dylan too and which is ironic. He'd say because that's Matt Dylan

speaker-1 (01:52:04.11)

who is also the character that Peter Graves' brother, Peter Arness, played in Gunsmoke. Matt Dillon, you're welcome full circle. I believe I've closed the tab. No, we've closed the loop. No, I've closed the baseball kids. Don't hate me. can't. can't. See, Kara, what he's doing now is he's covering his own ass. No, I'm clicking through all of the tabs. No, no, no, no, it's OK. It's all right. It's OK. It's OK. It's all right. 67 by...

Where are they voting? Where are they? But where are these mystery voters? Where the hell are they?

speaker-1 (01:52:42.83)

Did you hear Ilhan Omar's new song? I don't want to hear her. no, no. Yeah, I think you do. I want you to see the greatest prank of all time. This guy is so this lady is trying to get some sun on the beach. OK, hang on. Is she naked? No, maybe the top. I don't know. OK, just checking. I'm opposed to that. I don't think so. No. no. So anyway, so she's like, the crane, the crazy shadow time.

speaker-0 (01:52:57.065)

speaker-1 (01:53:11.182)

So the crane operator is moving manually to put the shadow on her and keep f'ing with her mind. Oh, that's good. Isn't that awesome? That is good. That's very good. And we should do that. We should do that. Can we set that up? Um, do you have a beach? Do you have a crane? Do you have a hot chick? Do you have any of these? We don't need the chick. They'll show up. You have the beach. Okay. All right. So we need, we also, we're to a crane just so we can do this. Right. And we need a crane.

speaker-1 (01:53:44.526)

That's good. That is a good. That's a good one. I've got something stuck in my. Sorry, you've been eating, but it was. I had a Chick-fil-A bowl earlier and I think it's some of that. You know, know, you know it's an underrated bowl, but I think they've really Rose Bowl. They've shrunk the the ingredients, if I'm not mistaken, is the KFC. They call him the famous bowls. I mean, I don't. I hate it whenever they slap famous on something pisses me off.

More than it should. it's like famous Nashville famous hot chicken. It was not a thing. It's never been a thing. I was in Nashville for 25 years. There was never hot chicken there. And then suddenly I moved to Dallas and then suddenly Nashville famous hot chicken. No, you made that shit up. Right. So stop. That's like giving yourself a nickname. Stop it. Yeah, you really can't do that. Hey, I got another animal video for you. You ready for this? Look at this. This is how they're patrolling a an apartment complex.

speaker-0 (01:54:40.366)

Now they got the motherfucking robot dog in the motherfucking hood. What the fuck type of AI shit is this?

speaker-1 (01:54:44.746)

It won't let me PUSS

It's good. my gosh. I'd forgotten the language. So anyway, somebody, all right, you know how like I used to know someone who, who, who for extra money, they would monitor a, a construction site, you know, with a camera there and they would sit there and monitor and they would get, Hey, I see you hands off the bulldozer. know, well, this is basically what that is. it's a, it's, it's, it's like, it's creepy though.

And this is our future right here. He's monitoring the and somebody's on the other end and you hear him talking back and forth with the most articulate woman ever, obviously. And so this is where we're at now. We are now we've graduated to robot dogs in the parking lot with 360 cameras, microphones, speakers, microphones, all sorts of fun stuff. I'm glad you said I'm glad you said robot. The you can't sneak up on it because it's got a 360 camera, but still.

You know what you could do though is you could sneak up on it with like a burka. What if you okay hold on a second. Okay hold on let's think this through. What if you walk up to it wearing a burka which no one's going to say anything in 26 and you race on Atlanta or whatever right and you're carrying a burlap sack or something which many would say is.

equivalent of a burka anyway and you put it on the dog right and then your buddy comes by and drops an anvil and then you don't have to worry about the robot dog. That's see that's good look we're coming up with solutions here man you know someone will do it just into how you spell disintegrate the did you the the robot race did you see the yeah we saw yeah we played that on my day job

speaker-1 (01:56:40.974)

The one where he just, he, uh, hits the wall and then, and then the other one falls and like breaks into pieces and stuff. Yes, that one. That one looked fake. was not fake. It looked fake. did look fake, but it wasn't. was China. China looks fake every now and then. If you think about it, the funniest part though, is the guys coming along with the stretchers and putting the robots on the stretchers. Oh, if you have kids listening, uh,

You may not want them to listen to this next video. I'm about to play it's or the last two that he played or the last Quite honestly any of this look the kids have already had soaps stuffed in their mouths and they've been sent to their room without dinner I hope you're happy. So this is a tennis tournament that I guess is next to an apartment complex. So just buckle up kids

speaker-0 (01:57:30.958)

you

speaker-0 (01:57:35.202)

Well that is...

speaker-1 (01:57:36.962)

You didn't hear that audio of the of the lady so I can't but that doesn't mean they can't. I see she's she's really enjoying what what is happening. To her.

speaker-0 (01:57:47.234)

The most bizarre situation. I don't know how to put this folks, but somebody's phone.

going on.

speaker-1 (01:57:56.75)

I love Brad. Brad believes everything he hears. Oh, it's just a phone. Okay. Oh, I know. I said it's not a phone. So he he hits a tennis ball over toward the apartment complex nearby. And so he had said, was something someone doing sex? Somebody was doing the sex. Yes. Someone was doing the sex, weren't they? It's not a phone and she's not quite finished.

speaker-0 (01:58:24.174)

and it was an adult video.

speaker-1 (01:58:26.733)

No.

speaker-0 (01:58:28.943)

I mean, guess it could have been. I still hear it. It's still going.

speaker-1 (01:58:35.754)

It's still going. It can't be that good!

speaker-0 (01:58:36.991)

What is going on?

speaker-1 (01:58:46.382)

It could be. It could be! Right, right. Don't sell yourself short, bro. It could be that good. Listen, it's still going.

speaker-0 (01:58:55.534)

you

speaker-0 (01:59:03.05)

No, that's not a phone. That is...

speaker-0 (01:59:09.57)

That's an apartment across the lake.

speaker-1 (01:59:15.01)

Now that's a tournament I would pay to go to.

you didn't hear the I know I did hear it. I did hear it. just I was since the kids have already been sent out of the room. You can bring him back in. know, no, I wouldn't because I have a question. do you know why? you know why it takes a woman so long to have an orgasm?

speaker-1 (01:59:45.164)

That's not you, bro. That's not I said, you know how long? How long? Do know why it takes them so long? why? Who gives a shit?

speaker-1 (01:59:56.398)

Thank you. Yeah, no, I get it. I have an animal. Another animal. Brad. I'll have another animal video for you. Oh, I thought it was a thing you were trying to. No, no, no. That is a funny one. But no, I'm going to try to ram it down your throat. Oh, oh, I'm so glad you're doing this because. Right. Ramming down your throat. No, I have this video. So you play it. This is wild, man.

Now if I hit play this this is Instagram so it mutes immediately doesn't it? Let's see. Yep it does.

speaker-1 (02:00:34.443)

that's a giant cat. The guy's out turkey hunting. Yeah, that's not a gobbler. That's what it says right there. So he's trying to be really.

Apparently this is not the way you avoid the cat. By being still? By being still. You would think... That by being still... But...

speaker-1 (02:01:01.386)

It it a little to see there goes the ass when the ass end of a cat starts doing that right? It's about to pounce. It's about your game on. Yep. That cat is.

speaker-1 (02:01:15.458)

sound like a turkey. That was a gobbler in the background. huh. huh. Here's the can you make it bigger? The cat, the the dude looks a little. Well, how did he's holding his camera? I know. Yeah. But I'm thinking he's looking at it and the cat is so intent on looking at him. It is. It's making me nervous. Right. Right. Because because wait for it. there you go. Boom. you got him.

Yeah. So he just popped him with the paw. No, guy said he had scratches from him. Yeah. So did Siegfried.

From Roy. Yeah, I know. Wait, OK, maybe not. OK, I got a couple more things here I want to play for you. These are probably not the. Kara says make noise, but don't run. Are we talking about doing sex or are we talking about the cat thing? No, you're talking about how to avoid the cat. OK, I'm just checking because sometimes random advice comes across in random ways. Right, right. And you never know what it's referring Right, make noise, but don't run because maybe that's been my problem.

you have a kink too. Okay, so here's a thing where people stand in the elevator and they flip off strangers because welcome to 2020. Careful, no, no.

Yeah. You got yourself an elevator. Yeah. Good job. Looks like a dining room. He's at a mall there and the cop is like, hey, so you flipped me off there. Tell you what, why don't we have a little have a little talk here? What do you think of that? Should the cop just be cool? But you didn't flip him off, did he? Yeah. Well, yeah, he was doing this and waiting for the elevator door to open and then it opens and then whoever's there gets to see you flipping them. reason. That's the stupid dare. This tick tock challenge or whatever.

speaker-1 (02:03:11.47)

It's not the only luck of the draw. He got a cop. I don't know what happened to this kid. The cop gave him crap. Watch this. Keep watching.

You're coming with me. Why? Why? Come on, bro. Why? What are you doing? can't be real. Is it real? It's not real. Yes, Jeff. Because it's not illegal to flip somebody off. I understand that, but... Well, especially not a cop. You've never seen a cop do something that wasn't within the bounds of the law, have you? Wow. Why do you hate the boys in blue so much? Yeah. Here, watch this. How are you getting strangers to do this?

speaker-0 (02:03:46.08)

I don't know, but.

is just like...

speaker-1 (02:03:52.726)

Are we seriously? We are idiocracy. good. So that guy didn't like it because that's at a wedding and bad things happened. Bad things happened there. Is it really called the middle finger elevator? Because I mean, that's like low effort. That is so low effort on a challenge. mean, that's... You just don't know who you're gonna... Who you're gonna surprise with the doors open.

It's so funny. Hardy. That's just a low effort. I'm all for a good prank but that's just low effort. You're like, that's it be better if you were hanging a BA. That would be funny. You're hang. Oh, sorry. Mooning. BA. Bare ass. If you're doing that, a bunch of you like lying lined up in the elevator because that elevator is big as a dining room. You'd be about 80 aligned up across and then when the elevator door is ahead and you're like, moon over Miami. Moon over Miami.

I'm sorry, I'm looking for uh. Make faces at cars behind bus. Oh, the bus. Yes. Yeah. I I had another one of these. Oh, here we go. Here it is. Here it is. Here it is. It's a little kid. Come on. See, like it's just, I don't like it. I don't like it. And I don't care who knows it. You, okay. But when you were 14, you wouldn't have Oh, I would have done it. Yeah. Yeah. Right. Exactly. Old man.

speaker-0 (02:05:03.854)

you

speaker-1 (02:05:19.886)

But it's but the line now has blurred between because kids don't respect their elders anymore, right? I mean, we did you're not afraid. When I was a kid, we were deathly afraid of our parents of our friends parents, because, know, they kick your ass. But now, I'm afraid of anything. And John Kiriakou is the guy here and he has a podcast that's very informative. He's been a guest on this. He's been a guest on the Thursday deep dive. As a matter of fact, he was

put in prison. It's just what a nightmare this guy has lived. Used to work for CIA. Anyway, so, yeah, but he tells the story of being imprisoned and it gave him a great perspective. I would not have handled it as well as he did. But he's being interviewed here on this show. I don't know which show this is, but I want you just to listen to what he says the CIA is capable of. And as we watch it, you'll go, yeah, Keith, we get it, right. But just think of this is

terrifying. This was years ago. You know, when the when the vault seven documents were released back in what was it 2017? Those there was a CIA computer engineer who named Joshua Schulte swears that he's innocent but is now serving a sentence of 40 years for espionage. He was apparently allegedly a disgruntled engineer. didn't like his boss. He didn't like his co workers. They didn't like him.

speaker-0 (02:06:27.989)

in

speaker-1 (02:06:49.826)

So he just downloaded the crown jewels of the Directorate of Science and Technology and sent it all to WikiLeaks in 2017. Google Vault 7. Vault 7 documents, Vault 7 revelations, documents were released. Oops, oops. Why have I never heard of Vault 7? That feels like a deep dive. I've never heard of it. Vault documents, Vault 7 looked like, you know, scrawl from a sixth grader. So,

He revealed that the CIA has developed technologies to, for example, remotely take over your car by hacking into the chip, right? Why would the CIA want to take over your car? To make you drive off a bridge, maybe? To make you drive into a tree and kill yourself? To make you drive into an abutment and make sure that there's no way you can survive because they've got the thing going 140 miles an hour and you can't control it?

They develop technology to, to reverse your smart TV, to make the speaker into a microphone with the TV still appearing to be off. So you don't know that it's broadcasting everything that's being said in your house. Now that I knew about the CIA headquarters. I mean, there's almost too much in vault seven to even go into it's incredible. I'm going to give a talk about it at a hacker conference this weekend.

So, know, couple what the CIA was trying to do in the fifties with MKUltra and its sub components, what it is technologically able to do today. And it is terrifying. Happy Friday, everybody. That's the thing. If people understood, if more people understood MKUltra. Yeah. I would never do that. Yeah. We did a deep dive on that too, with an MKUltra survivor.

That was a deep dive, don't know, six months ago. I need to, we got to revisit vault seven. But you know what, I'm also not done talking about this chick, Amy Eskridge. I'm not done, I'm not done. This chick that killed herself in 2022 in Alabama. Prior to being killed, she said she was not suicidal? Yes, and then she also in this interview, she talked about some crazy things happening at her apartment complex.

speaker-1 (02:09:16.43)

We're out of time now, but I tell you what, next time we do a bar flea, I've got to play this clip from that interview. There's not a chance I think this woman killed herself. And I know a lot of people are dismissing the recent deaths in that community. Don't be so quick to do that, especially when you hear what happened to her. And she knew she was facing

Serious threats here before we go. I do have I have one thing here because we can't finish on hey the CIA is gonna kill you By running you off. They don't get you the FBI will right? you Anyway, here we go It's become a thing lately Where the raw video footage? I've got some of me and my friends in college doing lip-syncing to a Connell song and it just looks so ridiculous without the actual music playing

And how about the Bee Gees? This is awesome. You're talking about from the vault.

speaker-0 (02:10:21.486)

It's okay, then you may not be the other way. We can try to understand, then you're time to thank the man. Whether you're a mother, whether you're a mother, you're staying alive, staying alive.

speaker-0 (02:10:48.492)

Stay alive,

See you tomorrow!

speaker-1 (02:11:02.894)

speaker-1 (02:11:13.742)

Dogs everywhere everywhere. hang on. That's good stuff. just look at this. I'm proud of my dogs. That's the winning streak is up to five. Yep.

speaker-1 (02:11:36.174)

I'm so proud of these guys. Five shows without an audible bark. Yesterday there was a dog bark when Scott Horton was on, but that was his y'all, so that don't count. That don't count. These are my pups that were judging here. So there you go. Scott Horton yesterday, excellent show. If you'd like to go and see how you were lied to on so many occasions, the war on terror, not only Iraq, but Afghanistan. Anyway, he's looking at the clock. He's like, I No, clock's over there. I was looking at that.

What happened? What are you looking at? Dumbass, we've concluded is one word by two to one margin over. creature says it's gonna better. Should I hang up now? Should we? It's a gargoyle. I think it's coming to life.

Should we keep watching and maybe we're gonna witness something really gruesome here. That's like I would join my sub stack for 9.99 a month and you can see some gruesome stuff. no, that's the only fan. Sorry. Sub stack is just hold Hold on. on. What's your what's your only fans handle their bread big long feet? I'm hanging up. Hey, have a great weekend everybody. Thanks for hanging out with us. We might have all four next week if you know the cardboard testicles. No, no, we forget.

cardboard co-hosts show up, Kelly and Rebecca. It's probably not happening. It'll probably just be me and Brad. Hell, might just be me. Brad, you gonna be here? four testicles next week. Can I get a commitment from you for next week, Brad? I've been divorced a couple of times, so sure, you can get a commitment. I'm hanging up. Bye, have a good weekend, everybody. ATMshow.com and don't forget TheDailyMojo.com as well. think Saturday morning, I keep wanting to say Saturday morning, Saturday Morning Live with Brad and Jeffy.

at Real Brad Staggs on X. That'll be tomorrow morning at 10 a.m. Eastern. Anything else? You're doing the Bee Gees in your head, aren't you? You're staying alive.