What Counts as a Sport? Tennis, Cornhole, and the 10-Year Health Debate | 4/10/26

Keith Malinak (00:01.954)

Girl, it's me, lying here, not a one girl

Keith Malinak (00:14.67)

you

Keith Malinak (00:21.26)

Do it down to what you really want to be You gotta let me know Falling off on a knee-to-toe, baby One down and one to go home Rocking the curves we really can't compete Warm us up and watch us go

We fell, we fell, we invested, we just fallen off the old twilight town, full of glowing things. Lying here, cause I don't wanna go, Lying here, cause I don't wanna go.

I bounce back out from the water. The whizz is in a skimmer of a collard whip. So get down and leave me alone, I'm going home. Way to go, way to go, everyone. I still am under a better childhood foe. Cause I can't stand losing a little pity now. I'm getting watered off my mouth. I'm a watered down, funny girl.

Keith Malinak (01:39.502)

you

Keith Malinak (01:55.586)

Go Red Squadron! Go Red Squadron! Go Red Squadron! Go Red Squadron! Go!

Keith Malinak (02:13.038)

you

Keith Malinak (02:20.494)

Don't stop to see the good more No one is neither or more Here's another clue, if you please See there's no need One, two, three, one, two, one, three,

Keith Malinak (03:10.275)

You

Zaynep (03:14.347)

Only f***ing with you.

Keith Malinak (03:30.112)

started lacking. We left before the sun came up that day. An exit to eternal summer slacking. But where were they going without ever knowing the way?

They got the wine and they got the talking

Keith Malinak (04:45.336)

You can see the shadow of ordering off somewhere. They won't make it home, but they really don't care. They wanted the highway, but happy they're there today. Today. The children walked out, and they couldn't find them.

Left before the sun came up that day They just drove off and left it all behind them Where were they going without ever knowing the way? Anyone can see the road that they walked on and let them go

It's always summer, they'll never get cold They'll never get hungry, they'll never get old and pretty You can see the shadows on a big rock somewhere They won't make it home, but they really don't care They wanted the highway, they're happy there Today, today

you

Keith Malinak (06:24.101)

Anyone can see the road that they walk on, it's way to the door It's all in summer, they'll never get cold They'll never get hungry, they'll never get all that hay

You can see the shadow of Auburn ring on somewhere They won't make it home but they really don't care They wanted the highway, they're handing it out Today,

Keith Malinak (07:21.774)

Couldn't have stress, see you in the morning I don't gotta guess, you're always there for me So when that seeds are down I think you like seeing me freak out Couldn't have stress, see you in the morning So I wake up, I get out of bed, stay up Stay out of my head, cause it's dangerous And I don't wanna lose my mind, no

I just wanna shine Like the sun when it comes up Run the city from the rooftops Cause today's gonna be my day I just wanna climb

To the top of the mountain, standing tall when I'm howling, cause today is gonna be my day. I used to land low, hiding in the shadows.

So don't give me dark days, I already have those I'm just trying to figure out how to be myself right now I don't wanna lay low, hiding in the shadows So I wake up, I get out of bed, stay up Stay out of my head, cause it's dangerous And I don't wanna lose my mind, no I just

Keith Malinak (09:06.702)

To the top of the mountain Stay tall when I'm howlin' Cause today is gonna be my day I wake up and I stay up Cause I'm sure good things will happen

I get out of my way

Keith Malinak (10:07.49)

Hey, hey, hey, welcome to this edition of At the Mic. I'm your host, Keith Malinak. I am always so grateful when you make time to hang out with us here on the Friday live stream. it's been a busy week around here. If you missed it earlier today, I was on the Steve Dase show over at the Blaze. He does the midday program over there and I was part of the Dase group. So check that out if you missed it. Don't do it now, go later. You're busy right now.

But a lot of fun. love those guys over there. Great team, the Steve Day Show. So I did that. Yesterday was a fascinating conversation. If you missed the deep dive talking about childhood vaccines, Dr. Jennifer Margulis was my guest. And we've got more to talk about with her. I hope you enjoyed that. If you didn't see it, then go back. Again, not now. It'll wait. Everything's available at ATMshow.com. The Wednesday Wild Card.

That was interesting. Steve Friend here, bad mouthing the FBI. I'm sorry, dropping truth bombs about the FBI. He always brings some hard to swallow facts. But grateful for when he can join me. He hosts the American Radicals podcast, if you aren't familiar. You should go check that. Well, again, not now, but you should check out the American Radicals podcast at some point. Next week, Stu Brueggeer. I almost called him Steve. That's his real name, Stu Brueggeer.

Will join me on the Wednesday wild card and then Phil Mengus will be my guest on Thursday as we talk about the history of the federal income tax.

Keith Malinak (11:50.806)

I do no favors to myself when it comes to my blood pressure. That's for sure with the shows that I Put out here for you. That's for sure. Sorry. You know what though? One of the things let me bring my friend Zaynep in here I have not talked to you young lady and I have no idea and Thanks for making time here. and and so normally this is

This is a face that hasn't been on the Friday live stream in a very long time. Brad is out today. I need a cardboard mullah for Brad. Kelly is out today. Rebecca was unable to make it at the last minute. Baby issues. Nothing bad. anyway, so she had to go and tend to some of that stuff, as young mothers do. But.

Yesterday when we were talking about vaccines, Gardasil came up and I said, hey, wait a minute. I need to reach out to Zay. Zaynep, I want you to tell us about your Gardasil journey because I seriously, I haven't had an update since the last time I talked to you.

Zaynep (13:04.24)

Where should I start?

Keith Malinak (13:05.314)

Where should you start? So the way I remember the story was you were in college, you were kind of pressured into it at a campus health center. Yes. And then the next thing you know, your life was turned upside down. What happened?

Zaynep (13:21.856)

Yeah, so it's a three-shot series and after the first one I immediately fainted and the nurse who gave me the injection was saying that I probably skipped breakfast or it was the shock of the needle and I know myself I'm not scared of needles. I mean I'm someone who has pierced her own nose for fun one night.

Keith Malinak (13:47.555)

Okay, hold on a second. I don't know. Were you drinking?

Zaynep (13:52.822)

I don't remember that part. I just remember it was the first year of college and I wasn't even with anyone. I was by myself. And I just looked in the mirror, like, you know what, let me try piercing my nose. So, and there was a tattoo shop kind of down the street. I walked down to the tattoo shop and instead of getting my nose pierced there, I said, do you have a piercing kit? So I bought a piercing kit there, like just a couple needles and stuff. I walked back home.

I took a wine cork, put it in my nose, and then just like stuck it in and pulled the cork out. And then you put the earring, the little nose ring on the edge of the needle and you pull that through and I pierced my own nose. And then I hated it. It looked terrible on me. So I took it out like a week later.

Keith Malinak (14:41.72)

Did you clean the, did you use like alcohol or something?

Zaynep (14:45.038)

Oh yeah yeah of course I took all the normal precautions but I pierced my own nose.

Keith Malinak (14:50.484)

No, no, if you had taken all of the normal precautions, you would have had them do it at the tattoo shop.

Well, anyhow, I'm just I'm glad that I'm glad that you made it through that. So, OK, but but the Gardasil situation fainted and that was. Yeah.

Zaynep (15:08.206)

So it was definitely not from the needle. It was from what was inside of the syringe. And then it was about six weeks later, I think, it was the second injection. After the second one is when my problems really started happening. I was getting these incredible migraines where I could barely even see. Like I couldn't walk.

It was so bad and I would get so nauseated from them. And I was starting to kind of skip classes because it was so bad. And I kept having to go back to the doctor, like, why am I getting these migraines? And they had to even give me the nausea medicine they give to chemotherapy patients to help it. And then also my hair kind of started falling out a little bit, but I wasn't really

thinking too much about it. After the third one is when my blood pressure got completely screwed up. Like every time I stood up, I would almost black out. Like every single time. And then my hair was like gone. All of my hair fell out. Eyebrows, eyelashes, arm hairs, leg hairs. Everything was gone.

Keith Malinak (16:25.93)

In college, this is happening to you. How traumatic. so you mean that how long ago? don't want I don't know how old you are, but 12 years ago. So is there an update? What's happened since?

Zaynep (16:28.462)

I was 19. It sucks.

Zaynep (16:37.902)

12 years ago.

Zaynep (16:43.086)

So the update was I was able to get my blood pressure issues relatively under control. Same with my migraines. If I am very, very diligent about taking care of myself and also supporting liver health is something I found that has really, really helped.

Keith Malinak (17:03.992)

Hang on, so then Lynn's suggestion that you can now drink with us, guess that's not happening, because that's what we try to do here. I we have plenty to drink, but you're saying that that would be bad for you.

Zaynep (17:14.974)

no, I love drinking, I'm a big drinker.

Keith Malinak (17:18.766)

But I thought I just learned about liver health from you. Okay, so.

Zaynep (17:23.15)

I could do both at the same time. I support it with herbs and everything while also indulging and having a good time. Because also another huge thing is I am doing a lot to take every single bit of stress out of my life. Like people who stress me out, they gotta go. Hello.

Keith Malinak (17:46.574)

no, I feel like that was like a coded language. we had Cash Patel tugging on his ear at a congressional hearing video on Wednesday with Steve Friend. I feel like that's what just happened here y'all. Okay, but how's the hair coming back?

Zaynep (18:02.402)

so about that. Last year, literally one year ago, randomly after 11 years of not having anything, like not even one single hair, my hair just randomly grew back. It grew back, like 90 % of it grew back. And from like February is when it started and then like my hair growth peaked in November.

Like from that stretch of time, I had like two little spots left. Everything grew back. I even got one of my eyebrows to grow back. And then suddenly towards the end of November, it started falling out again. And most of it fell back out. the thing is, it happened the first time around too when my hair is falling out. While it's falling out, it's a nightmare.

It's so devastating and it's literally psychologically torture Like there's it doesn't hurt like nothing. It's fine, but it's just like seeing it come out. It's Incredible torture and now it's still Whatever's left is still falling out. I have like I don't know 15 percent of it left and Actually last night I got sick and tired of it falling out that I shaved I shaved it all off and

After that, it feels good. You're over it then.

Keith Malinak (19:33.524)

Okay, yeah. So do you know what triggered this latest lapse in November to make it start falling out again? no, you don't want to tell us. You don't have to. Okay, I don't like that.

Zaynep (19:40.386)

Yeah.

Zaynep (19:47.445)

I think you know.

Keith Malinak (19:50.922)

Don't I don't know and don't worry about telling me Okay, okay. I just wanted to come back and stay Okay All right, well, let's see here Well, I'm glad you could join us. That was pretty cool that like I said, I haven't talked you in forever. the eardrum

Zaynep (20:01.333)

I know, me too.

you.

Keith Malinak (20:15.628)

The last time we talked, you're about to go into surgery for like an eardrum that was torn because a Q-tip got crazy up in there.

Zaynep (20:22.582)

Yeah. Yeah. So that's actually doing pretty good. That's doing great. No, no. Just one morning randomly, I was looking in the mirror and I saw something in my ears, like something dark. So I look, I'm like, what the heck is that? I like take it out. It is the biggest, thickest scab I've ever seen in my life.

Keith Malinak (20:31.054)

Never did had to give the surgery though.

Zaynep (20:50.279)

And apparently that was on my eardrum. And when that fell out, my hearing suddenly got a lot better.

Keith Malinak (20:58.42)

You had the surgery scheduled, if I can...

Zaynep (21:00.824)

Yeah, yeah, I had it scheduled. I was supposed to get surgery and a doctor, like a family friend is a doctor and she said to just wait. She's like, sometimes the surgery actually can make it worse.

Keith Malinak (21:16.642)

Okay, I mean, congratulations. So that's good news. But I wish the hare would do the hare thing. You know what? I just realized I'm counting the Steve Day's appearance today. I'm gonna give my dog's credit for staying quiet for an hour earlier today. So that's gonna be three straight shows now that the dogs have gone without barking. So if we can make it to the end of today.

We might get to four, huh? That might be a record. All right, so we're going to just put that right there and then see if we need to revisit that later. OK, so let's see what I got. OK, all right, so Gabby, who you should follow over on X, at Jeffy Apologist. She runs the Instagram account for at the Mike Show. She's so kind. sent me some show prep for today. I like to do this thing called Creepier Cool. We've only done it once.

but it's fun to put something up there and then get a reaction from everyone if they think it's creepy or if they think it's cool. This is gonna be a little different. I think we're gonna call this one frivolous or fun. So here we go. She sent me this fun little picture or one little video here. It's dogs getting married. So is this frivolous or is it just good fun?

Zaynep (22:40.054)

dog wedding. Yes, you heard that right. A dog wedding. Our golden retriever Bo, who escaped and fell in love with Paula and had the cutest puppies, are now husband and wife. We kept it traditional and the whole wedding party walked down the aisle. Our handsome groom Bo, cutest ring bearer, flower girls, and then Bo and Paula's puppies were definitely the star of the show. But don't worry, they didn't upstage the beautiful bride Paula.

Keith Malinak (23:03.138)

gathered here today to celebrate the union of two very good dogs in holy matrimony.

Zaynep (23:09.646)

To say I do they shook on it. They exchanged dog tags before being pronounced. Then the party really got started. Lauren made the most beautiful tablescape I have ever seen. We had a wedding cake for the humans and one for the dogs too. They loved it. Of course we served hot dogs for dinner and the custom-made soda bar was a hit. A live artist painted the happy couple while they made the rounds greeting all their guests. Almost 300 of

Keith Malinak (23:12.814)

Good

Keith Malinak (23:16.93)

than that wife.

Zaynep (23:36.672)

And everybody got to take home a custom watercolor of their pet. We danced the rest of the night away to you guessed it.

Keith Malinak (23:45.326)

I'm gonna get flagged for that audio. uh, whoops, dang it. Anyway, so what do you think? Is that frivolous or fun, y'all? What are your thoughts?

See, you love dogs. So you're really having to think about this. See, I think you like to save money, but you also love dogs. So where are you on this day? Frivolous or fun?

Zaynep (24:12.43)

I was about to think it was a lot of fun, but it seemed excessive.

Keith Malinak (24:21.933)

Okay, all right, so, so what if it was just a gathering of 300 people? Hey, you know what? We haven't seen our friends in a while. Let's just invite them over and they don't do a thing with the dogs. They just, and I would like to point out that those dogs, they had puppies out of wedlock because if the puppies were there, they're in the end.

So, uh-huh. So I just I wanted to point that out. okay, if it had just been a party would that have been frivolous?

Zaynep (24:52.074)

No, that's fun. but when I think about it like that, then I think then with the dog wedding, it's fine.

Keith Malinak (25:02.798)

All right, yeah, expensive. Yeah, I would like to how much they spent because that was a lot of cash.

Zaynep (25:08.695)

I mean clearly they have the money to spend but to do something like that

Keith Malinak (25:14.414)

That's the other thing. As you're watching this, you're like, man, how does the other half live? They have dog weddings, man. Yeah, parties are frivolous too. Yeah, I see. I just wondered. Yeah, cool way to have a family reunion. Yeah, what if it's a family reunion? And then you're just like, oh yeah, but by the way, we're making it about our dogs. Oh, you think it was just for the clicks. Okay, I got some cynics among us, but I mean, they're realists too. You wouldn't get dressed up for it? Yeah.

Zaynep (25:31.662)

That's fine.

Keith Malinak (25:43.606)

I'd be dressed like Jimmy Buffett, that's for sure. I've had a dog wedding, stop it. I don't know.

Zaynep (25:49.464)

concept I think is fun but for example if I was invited to what I was told is like a black tie event I need to get dressed up for it and they're like it's for my dog I would feel really stupid getting dressed up for that wouldn't you you're like getting all dressed up putting to go to a dog's wedding

Keith Malinak (26:06.949)

huh.

Keith Malinak (26:10.158)

You're getting dressed up for that?

I would feel like an asshat for sure if I were dressed up for that. Okay, now let's go to the creepy or cool. I'm gonna let you determine here. There's a weatherman down in Houston just a couple days ago, a couple nights ago, something happened at sunset and he's gonna walk us through this. Good Wednesday evening, everybody. I wanted to step in and show you something really cool that we picked up on radar. He's already booked. this Wednesday night. He says And that's the bats emerging from their bat.

colonies around the Houston area. Now it just so happened that atmospheric conditions were just perfect for the radar to pick up these little creatures as they emerge from a couple of colonies. Let me show you. We look at the radar and see right here, we've got a little, what looks like a rain shower showing up there, just north of downtown. Another one showing up here, highway 90 at the Gulf Freeway. But when you zoom in, you will notice.

that these bright little, what looked like rain showers, this one in particular is emerging right from, okay, there's wall. That's the Wall Street Bridge over Buffalo Bayou right here. So Wall Street Bridge has a huge bat colony. It can peak at 300,000 bats in the summertime. And that is the radar beam picking up all the bats as they come out from underneath the bridge.

as they headed northeast looking for insects to feed on. And they got to just the right height so the radar beam could pick them up. And so it looks like a rain shower. See, right at sunset, right at 802, not rain, those are bats coming out of the Wall Street bat colony. And I'll back this up and we'll just kind of walk through it. Nothing. And then boom, there they are right at sunset, right after sunset, 801. And then they flew off to the north and east and off they went out toward Lake Houston.

Keith Malinak (28:03.498)

Look at this, another bat colony. wasn't aware of this one. So this one, let's back it up and take a look. This looks like a big colony as well. Right at the crux of the Gulf Freeway, I-45 and Highway 90. Right there, again, right after sunset at 8.03, both colonies of bats emerge at the same time. There must be a pretty good bridge here, I-45 over Highway 90.

where the bats are living in the little crevices under the bridge. then it seems that they're coming out and that's the radar picking them up as they raced off to the north and east. And what's kind of cool, it's not just the Houston area bat colonies that I picked up. can see there were several echoes or several bat colonies around. Look over toward San Antonio. And there happens to be a huge bat colony right up here in your garden ridge, just north of San Antonio.

This one has millions of bats in it and it's it's famous for its size and also the way the bats come out and they'll swirl and Once again in San Antonio, right? Right at the same time. There we are 758 right at eight o'clock. That's not rain Not rain not rain. Those are several bat colonies with the bats coming out going off to feed and feeding on millions of pounds of insects each night

Cool. I don't know. What do you think? Creepy or cool?

Zaynep (29:32.824)

Can I use a different adjective?

Keith Malinak (29:36.622)

Go ahead. Yeah, so OK. Well, Mary is exactly what I was going to say. She said exactly. Cool. Only if you see them on radar would be creepy if you were there in person. That was exactly what I was going to say. I don't want to see millions of bats flying toward me under any circumstances, but on radar safely in my house. And I'll give it a shot. But anyway, he enjoyed that. That was a rare treat for the weatherman.

Zaynep (29:36.93)

disgusting.

Keith Malinak (30:06.582)

Anybody else want to weigh in over there in the chat? Just curious, creepier, cool. OK, so now I've got another one. Hang on. me get. There's too many too many buttons to push over here. I want to hit OK. So the next one is, is this annoying or is it awesome? Let me see if I can find this. Hang on, hang on. Here it is. Found it. Here we go. All right. OK, what's the story? I can't. What are we doing here? Annoying or awesome? I mean, it looks.

It looks cool-ish to have a horsey toilet. That's what we're looking at there. It's a horsey porcelain. I don't see how it's practical because if you're trying to... I'll let you use your imagination. Take the picture and then I need to take the little horsey part off because this is absolutely... That's what's so weird is that it's connected there so you don't even have a seat there once you remove the horse.

So I don't know, that annoying or is that awesome? How do you work around that though?

Zaynep (31:10.058)

Imagine you have explosive diarrhea on that.

There's something to hold on to, you can like lean forward and hug it while you're trying not to die.

Keith Malinak (31:22.67)

Holy crap. That's a...

Zaynep (31:27.884)

I'd use it then, I'd enjoy that.

Keith Malinak (31:30.254)

Yeah, is it a tat? Like I can't even tell if it's like, how do you move it real quickly? Like, all right, that's just.

Okay. Oh, I didn't, let me tour the chat here. Let's just see. Only for females watching. Okay, I don't know. Anybody got me? Okay. So I just wanted to catch up with you. Yeah. I have questions. No, no, I don't. Thank you for genius. Chime it in there. Let's see what else I got. Okay. So Pat Head of my day job over at the Blaze. Pat Gray Unleashed, Pat Head.

Megan Stamps this morning sent me this and I have seen the meme that I'm gonna put up here the guy but I've never seen where this originated. Are you familiar in the chat and Zay are you familiar with the guy who is known for saying hide your wives hide yes okay all right so I had not seen that news report so what I thought we would do is for those of you who were like me until this morning let's play the news report

Zaynep (32:43.355)

You don't know the song? They did a song about this. It's amazing.

Keith Malinak (32:47.65)

a remix I didn't have time to click it this morning but alright I'll look for that for sure but Antoine Dodson hide hide your kids hide your wife this is the original interview from about I think 13 years ago it's for a woman who woke up to a strange man in bed with her well it screamed her brother rushed in to help fight the offender off that breaking happened early this morning in the 500 block of Webster Drive in Linseville

Zaynep (32:50.766)

So good.

Keith Malinak (33:12.706)

the uff forty two was the general caught up with the victims was elizabeth motions were running high and mark the woman the victim tells us that a man broke into our house and tried to rape or her brother but it went and he tried to help around but the man got away leaving behind though evidence of his visits kelly dot since the sleep with a little girl inside their apartment on webster drive when i was attacked by some idiot from out here in the projects

Dodson says her attacker used a garbage can to climb onto the unit's ledge, open the upstairs window, and then he got in bed with her. tried to rape me. He tried to pull my clothes off. Dodson struggled with her attacker knocking over items in her bedroom. Antoine Dodson heard his sister scream and ran to help. Well, obviously we have a rapist in Lincoln Park. He's climbing in your windows. He's snatching your people up, trying to rape them so y'all need to hide your kids.

had your wife and had your hood because they raping everybody out here. It's after God loose and went out the upstairs window, but he did leave something behind. We got your t shirt to the left. Nigga Prince and all. You're so dumb. You are really dumb for real. A crime scene investigator photographed and dusted for prints on the lid of the garbage can and the window pane and ledge. Dodson says he's never seen the perp before but sends this warning to whoever is responsible.

You don't have to come and confess that you did. We're looking for you. We're gonna find you. I'm letting you know now so you can run and tell that, homeboy. I love that. Now I don't know how I must have been the last person on earth to have seen that. So shame on me for being that out of touch. But what a character. What was his name again? Antoine. Awesome. Okay. So, so there is an update.

Zaynep (35:03.521)

in.

Keith Malinak (35:08.534)

that was sent my way this morning and he is staying busy and I'm trying to find the commercial. He's doing commercials now, if you can believe this. And so this is fun and it'll be even more fun once I can find it. Antoine Dodson update here. What is he shilling? And I'll never find it apparently. Hang on. Hang on. Hang on. You can't share a screen over there, can you?

Zaynep (35:37.76)

No

Keith Malinak (35:38.51)

Yeah, you. should have asked. This is where I lean on Brad. Brad, Brad, please play the commercial. Hang on. Where did it go? I had it open earlier. You can? Yeah. Look for look for Antoine Dodson commercial on YouTube. What is my deal? Hang on a second. Let's see here. I'll find it, y'all. Just give me a second here. You did? OK, so now can you let me let me look here on the on the screen here.

Zaynep (36:02.561)

I found it.

Keith Malinak (36:07.95)

I found it. Here we go. I got it. No, no, that's the original. Damn it. Hang on. Hang on.

Zaynep (36:14.062)

It's right in Google, and von Datsun commercial, and it comes up.

Keith Malinak (36:17.122)

Okay, I'll do that. I found it. Okay, here we go. Hang on. Hang on. Now I gotta close this tab. Too much. Here we go. Here's Antoine's on. Where's the audio? Here we go. The hide your kids, hide your wife guy. Do you ever wonder what happened to me? You should never wonder. Ever since my viral video, I've been acting, singing, hosting events, and I made a ton of cash. But I blew all that money. So now I'm a CDL driver. That's just a fancy way of saying that I'm a garbage man.

Life's been slowing down. have a 10 year old son and I've been taking care of my grandma. She had been struggling with cancer and she could barely get out of bed. I had to make sure she had everything she needed. I did everything for her. I'm trying to support my son and my grandma. That means I'm out of the house a lot. Luckily I got Wyze Cam. Wyze Cam let me see anything I want from miles away. From right here on my phone. I can see my son getting home from school on the doorbell cam. I can definitely use the outdoor cam.

blood light to make sure nobody is climbing in my windows and snatching my people up or my packages or the camera can record events and I can watch them later. So when my grandmother tell me she takes her medication, I can go back and watch that video to see if she's lying. My grandmother, she wasn't expected to live, but then we got some good news. We found out that her cancer was gone and her bones was beginning to heal. Lies makes it so you never wonder. You just know.

Wise Cam keep me and my family safe from bad intruders. You don't have to hide your wife no more or your husband. Wise, never wonder. If you don't got Wise Cam, you are so dumb. You are really, really dumb. For real. Hi. That's awesome. That is awesome. Well done, Wise Cameras. Go in and find an egg.

Zaynep (38:03.246)

You need to listen to this song.

Keith Malinak (38:06.734)

Okay, well, I will. What you eating there?

Zaynep (38:09.41)

So good.

Zaynep (38:14.382)

chickpeas.

Keith Malinak (38:19.118)

crunchy. It's a Turkish thing. Hold on. Hold on. I have to go back and give a Reverend Wolf VIP. I got to give props there. the trots and the horsey toilet. You got the trots. You see that's as a good line. Sorry. We interrupted a chickpea time, over at Zays, but, you know what? That's okay. Because I bought these snacky snack bars.

Zaynep (38:19.958)

It's a Turkish thing.

Keith Malinak (38:44.814)

Can I just say, not a sponsor. You're welcome to be though, but the fulfill protein bar, I'm sure it's terrible for me. Somebody can look up the ingredients and tell me how terrible I am to put this in my body. But I didn't realize how chewy they were. And boy, that makes for awkward moments on the show when I, sometimes you just get so hungry. You don't care if you're chomping away. You know, someone else who is not a sponsor, but I have to give a shout out. This is APR coffee, Dave Matthews, not that Dave Matthews.

But just give me one moment. Again, this isn't a commercial. They're not a sponsor. But the reason I'm bringing this up, because I order APR coffee from Dave Matthews in Iowa. And I always thought it was Superior Coffee. I really did. But ladies and gentlemen, I texted him. said, I didn't realize how good your coffee was until this week when I took coffee from home, which I've started doing in recent weeks. And I used to just drink coffee at work with the K-cups that they provide. There's Folgers. There's that donut thing or whatever.

But now when I finish my coffee from home and then fill it up with that stank nasty K-Cup Folgers and the donut, whatever the hell it's called, donut shop coffee, it's like, you can tell it's night and day. So I'm just telling you APR coffee, yummy yum. George Washington Carver has got the peanut butter. Oh, I love that. Oh, the Calvin Coolidge blend. In fact, there's a Keith blend somewhere in here. I don't know. There's a At the Mic blend.

See if it'll load here. Yeah. Yeah, look at that. Look at that back before I let the I just gave up on life and just let the beard grow So that's a macadamia nut. So anyway, APR coffee again, not a sponsor I'm simply sharing with you truth as I like to do APR coffee calm Okay, um, let's see, what do I have here? Okay. Have did you see? Did you see the Powerball winner he won 167 million dollars and

Apparently, that's not enough to keep him out of trouble there. There's the fine young man there. He's James Farthing in Kentucky. There he is. And so he won $167 million less than a year ago. And in that time, he's been arrested a mere four times. Now, before we continue in story,

Keith Malinak (41:08.526)

Zay, have you ever won anything? Do you play the lottery at all? you care? do that?

Zaynep (41:15.05)

No, but I did go to the casino with my 85 year old aunt two days ago.

Keith Malinak (41:20.526)

where's the nearest casino to you? well, hold you don't have to give that away, but I didn't realize that- okay, I didn't realize there were casinos down there

Zaynep (41:24.012)

Well, everyone knows I'm in Florida, but...

yeah, and we went to the one in Tampa because I was in Sarasota. Huh. And my aunt loves the casino.

Keith Malinak (41:37.476)

huh. Shall we win anything?

Zaynep (41:39.374)

We played this, not tables, we were playing this slot machine and we were playing the one machine together, like taking turns pressing the button. And somehow we were down a couple hundred dollars and we were about to leave because we were almost out of our playing money. And she's like, let's try something crazy. And we put the same, you pick like a bunch of numbers.

And we picked the same number for each section where you could put numbers. We're like, let's do something stupid. Let's put the same number in. And then we instantly won like $400. Wow. Yeah. At the last minute.

Keith Malinak (42:21.602)

That is awesome. That's awesome. My casino struggles are legendary. I saw machine stories where I'm up a ton and then I end up walking away in debt. That's happened at Las Vegas airport. That happened at the Hard Rock Casino in Tulsa, Oklahoma. That has happened, gosh, I feel like somewhere else. we'll see one time though, Kerry and I were at

the Cherokee Casino near Asheville, North Carolina. And we were literally, we had just gotten married. We were absolutely poor. And we went into this casino with 20 bucks each. And I had burned all of my 20 bucks that we walked in there with. And she was down to her last two quarters. And I said, let's just do them both at the same time. And so we played it.

50 cents turned into 385 bucks and those newlyweds ate quite well that night. And it was awesome. It was so cool how that happened. But I will say that my problem is the reason I go up to these slot machines and just burn through money now is because I feel like the next one's gonna hit. Not only is the next one going to hit, but I'm gonna feel really dumb if I only have one coin in the slot machine.

and it hits, I need to make sure I do the full three so that when it hits, I'll get triple the prize. Oh, such a dumb ass. But this guy here, wins $167 million. I did some quick math. This is Keith math, right? You pay 40 % federal taxes. I'll even say, I don't know what Kentucky is, but let's just say it's 10%. I know it's not that high probably. But let's just say that that's the tax rate for the federal and the state. Then that knocks it down to $100 million now.

He won the lottery with his mom, so he should have $50 million free and clear, right? So notice I did the math. $45. I did the math. Conservatively, he should have $45 million free and clear. Yet in the last year, dude has been arrested for breaking into a home and stealing $12,000.

Keith Malinak (44:40.09)

I'm giving a woman a gummy and I guess, don't know, trying to take advantage of her and ended up in the pokey for that. here's a hit and run collision that he had there in town. Let's see here. There was another arrest here. Like I said, four arrests. That money could have gone to a much better home. What happens with people? I mean, just lay low, bro. Like, I don't understand.

If it's a marijuana thing, you know, then go someplace where it's legal. I don't know, man. He has more money than he could ever spend. he still likes robbing people. I don't understand this. Anyway, good luck to James Farthing. I could take care of that money for you while you're away. I don't know. That's, I don't know.

But hey, congratulations to you and your aunt though for that $400. I didn't know there were casinos in Florida. How have I missed this?

Zaynep (45:41.474)

What? You haven't you heard of the in right above Miami there's a guitar shaped hard rock.

Keith Malinak (45:49.826)

Yes, well, hold on. I think, I think it is it every Hard Rock Casino like that because I know Biloxi is like that too, I think.

Zaynep (45:58.754)

I know. I thought that was the only one.

Keith Malinak (46:02.446)

Well, I just didn't realize it were casinos in Florida I feel like I'm missing out on every visit, you know Well, that stinks. Hey, have you been to So do you go to Vegas then?

Zaynep (46:16.302)

I've been twice.

Keith Malinak (46:19.63)

Have you been to the sphere? Uh-huh. What'd you see there?

Zaynep (46:22.274)

Yes.

We saw the postcards from Earth. It's basically you're traveling Earth. I thought it was incredible. I loved it.

Keith Malinak (46:36.077)

Yeah, I s-

Keith Malinak (46:39.948)

Okay. Wait, wait, hold on. The way you say that, it feels like somebody in your party didn't.

Zaynep (46:46.284)

What? No, no!

Keith Malinak (46:46.894)

okay, you know what you said? Well, I thought it was incredible, but my

Zaynep (46:50.51)

no no no no I went with someone and we both liked it

Keith Malinak (46:55.89)

Okay, good, good. So, the Wizard of Oz is there. We saw you too there, which was absolutely incredible. But the Wizard of Oz, man, I would love to see that. Boy, those tickets, They are not sh-

Zaynep (47:09.835)

Look at the comment. There's gonna be a giant guitar one on the Las Vegas strip very soon. I don't even know that

Keith Malinak (47:16.558)

that's right. think Toby sent me, did Toby make that comment? Somebody? Yeah. Okay, yeah, cool. Yeah, he sent me a picture recently of that and it's apparently just massive, massive guitar gonna be in place there. know, Toby, I hope to get back there someday and not too distant future, but who knows. But I want to see the...

I want to see the Wizard of Oz. I don't know how long it's going to be there. Toby, do you know? I Toby my official researcher today. it made, listen to this. It has sold an estimated 2.6 million tickets and generated roughly $350 million in revenue since opening just in August, making it the number one grossing venue in the world for 2025.

Zaynep (48:04.834)

Sheesh.

Keith Malinak (48:10.958)

in one of the highest earning single show runs in Las Vegas history. Again, I remind you, it's only been going on since August. OK, that's fascinating. is it when I guess people still have money to spend. That's good to know. That's good to know. But August 20, 25. Let me catch up here, OK, it's not leaving anytime soon. Good. Mostly because of those rev. Yeah, I bet. Yeah, yeah.

Wait, hold on. less of a global warming agenda. Oh, yeah, OK, good. Postcards from Earth. Far less of a global warming agenda than expected.

Zaynep (48:48.582)

yeah, the whole premise of it was it's basically the thing the show opens showing two people who basically wake up in outer space or something after humans have destroyed Earth and then it shows those two people who are just waking up this video about what Earth used to be and that's what you see during the show.

It's basically like you're flying through the desert and the mountains and this and that and all these temples or whatever, Nepal. And it shows you all the cool bits of Earth. But with the message that humans are going to destroy it, which when they get to that part, you're just like, shut up. It's just so annoying.

Keith Malinak (49:39.182)

But they don't, they don't dwell on it then.

Zaynep (49:40.916)

No, no. So I mean, the amount that they talk about that is not enough to ruin the experience, but it's still there and it makes you roll your eyes.

Keith Malinak (49:51.886)

I see Kara. I see you saying that March 31st. It was supposed to end but Extended to December because of high demand. There you go. And I forgot to mention Zainab is on X at Zainab Yenisei I Spoke I pronounced that right and everything. Yes And in fact, you know, we recently added here on at the mic great job by Wes as always at second floor Dallas

Zaynep (50:12.418)

You done it.

Keith Malinak (50:20.574)

with the ATM show.com website. We have recently added a Throwback Tuesday show where you get the life stories of six years ago, I think it was six years I started right when the COVID-19 fund was beginning. And eventually we're gonna get to the episode with Zane Epp. So you go to the look at that. wait, how did FBI Follies get into the throwback section? Wes, that's supposed to be Jeffy.

We got see we got Pat was episode one and then Hillary and this should be Jeffy. So so West, if you're watching, let's put the big man right there. But eventually we'll get to Zaynep life story because she was a guest back in the day. OK, what's next? OK. Look, sometimes I like to post the be kind to animals stuff. You know, I hate to see suffering and I really like it when people go and they they they save animals from.

total disaster. here's a couple of hunters. Oh, it's heads inside of it. Deer is trapped.

Keith Malinak (51:31.63)

Oh gosh, that is brutal. That really sucks. So you got one guy trying to get it out and you got the other guy laughing along thinking it's the funniest thing he's ever seen and I hate this. That's a long video. His horns are stuck in there and just a nightmare. And I don't want you to have to suffer through all this because it's rough.

Zaynep (51:35.086)

That sucks.

Keith Malinak (52:01.176)

So he finally gets the thing off of the thing. Okay, so hang on. What's happening here? You think I would show you this if it was the... He's not responsive. And this hunter is like, bro. See, that guy thinks it's funny. I think it's heartbreaking. Look at this. Now his friend makes a good suggestion though, actually.

that saves the deer's life.

Do mouth to mouth. Do mouth to mouth. And it actually works. There's no way. Look at this. Look at this, huh?

Whoa, it's working bro. Do compressions. Yeah, do compressions. just did the air, now you gotta...

Keith Malinak (52:57.688)

Push on his chest.

Zaynep (53:04.526)

That's crazy.

Keith Malinak (53:05.486)

It is insane. And there's no AI warning by the way. pointer. Is that the one we just saw? Oh, he just saw it. Good. So it wasn't there too long.

This deer is like, what is happening?

Zaynep (53:19.372)

That deer just met God and came back. He's like, what the hell?

Keith Malinak (53:21.494)

Right!

Look at that! Now the hunters of course said, look, we'll be back in about six months. We'll see you next season. And next time it won't be so nice. But I'm glad the deer is alive to go and do little deer things now. But boy, that was intense, man. Let's see, a stun? I don't know. I think he just couldn't breathe, really.

Yeah, Kara, I would put put your comment up But I have to scroll all the way up because the stupid the way this thing does the comments Kara You know, yeah that poor baby. That's what I was thinking that poor baby, but There you go. Yeah, you're doing okay now now a couple other animal videos for you here This one is uh, this one just makes me laugh because You got to love it when animals go to places where they're apparently

They're not supposed to be. Don't try to tell them that. we got a couple of, and I wasn't familiar with this term. This is Puget Sound, Olympia, Washington. Stellar sea lions. I guess that means that they're the big fat ones or something, because these are some, that's a big boy and a big girl. They're just on the boat here. Now, my concern here as I watched this was,

This boat is out in the sound. Is there somebody on the boat that cannot get out of there that could be sent to a watery grave if this boat takes on any more water? Look at this. I don't think this boat under like sea life anymore. my goodness. That's the pest. my gosh. It's so close to sinking. That thing eats three more salmon it's done for. I really hope there's nobody down below deck. Holy crap. Help.

Keith Malinak (55:19.95)

We're just out here boating. Don't mind us. Oh, yikes.

Keith Malinak (55:30.529)

Okay, do you ever get out the ocean there living in Florida the way you do?

Zaynep (55:34.774)

Are you talking to me? Yeah. Say that again.

Keith Malinak (55:38.136)

Do you ever get out in the ocean? You live in Florida.

Zaynep (55:42.264)

like swimming.

Keith Malinak (55:44.398)

don't know, swimming a boat? have you ever been out to sea on a little dinghy like that? mean, like a little fishing boat there? Do you get out at all? Let's just start there. Do you ever get out? No. Okay, fine. Let's see, because here is, now this is an AI video, I'll tell you up front. So the way the disclaimer goes, I mean, it's pretty obvious if you see this video that it's AI.

But they put down here, this is an AI-created video, though what's written is true. And what is written is this is how females treat males when it comes to octopi. Octopuses. You've heard of octopuses or octopi? Zay? I'm talking to you.

Zaynep (56:33.582)

I remember I looked this up because, oh, hold on, super side note. When I was in middle school and high school, me and my best friend and I, made this chocolate pie. And then while we were making the chocolate pie, we were trying to figure out if multiple of platypus is platypi, platypuses.

And then we found out it's pie to pie, so we named our chocolate pie, pie to pie.

So ever since then, I know it's oct...

Keith Malinak (57:12.91)

We all have ways that we remember things and there's a word for that. I don't know what it is. mean, this isn't the show you come to for that kind of knowledge, but yeah, you always have things that help you remember stuff.

Zaynep (57:27.88)

Most plural octopus is octopuses. says while octopi is commonly used, is technically incorrect.

Keith Malinak (57:36.138)

no, I can just see the actually meme. Actually, it's octopuses. Okay, so I want to see this here. This is what chicks do when they don't want guys around. Female octopuses are being observed throwing objects at males who refuse to leave them alone.

Zaynep (57:40.216)

Julie

Keith Malinak (57:59.342)

Come on now, that needs to be among humans too, I like that. You know what I see there? I see a shoe going by George Bush. Male octopuses. Wow, okay, so there you go. So ladies, you're on the dating scene or whatnot, keep a few extra rocks in your pocket and be like the female octopi...

Zaynep (58:26.11)

I saw a a while ago, it was similar to this, but it was frogs and apparently female frogs when they don't want the advances of a certain boy frog, they play dead.

Keith Malinak (58:42.564)

yeah, I saw that. I forgot to bring, you know what? I saw that and that's one of those videos. I remember thinking, I got to email that to myself to play on the Friday live stream. And then I forgot. So thank you for bringing that up. Yeah, that was funny. I also saw, speaking of playing dead, yes, I know, Crispy. I know that that was AI. I said it was AI. look at that. Born Genius is going to give it a try. Yeah, let us know. And make sure that you shoot video too and then post it online of you throwing rocks at guys that are coming up to you at a club. Now that would be fun.

But the frog, I saw a kangaroo recently who apparently was faking being passed out so that people would give him food. That was funny. It's not as funny as the way I describe it, but just imagine a kangaroo laying flat on its back and acting like it was knocked out and then somebody puts food there and he sits up and he eats and he lays back down to act like he's, you know.

really in need of some assistance. I've seen birds do that at like a convenience store. They play dead just outside the door. So people give them food because they saw, oh, because that's what it was. There was an injured bird and they were taking care of it and feeding it. And so now all the birds hang out at this convenience store act like they're hurt and stuff. That's why they all limp and stuff. And it's very funny. I mean, we will never fully understand the brain of animals, man. I mean, they are much smarter in many cases.

then we give them credit for except for the turtles. The turtles are dumbasses and they always will be. But there's a lot of other smart animals out there.

Zaynep (01:00:15.694)

Something I will never, ever, ever forget. When I first moved to Florida, one of the first things I saw was it was a really, really busy highway. It was one of the big turtles trying to cross the highway. And I will never forget that. It's like, why are you trying to cross the highway? Where are you going?

Keith Malinak (01:00:39.438)

Did it make it to the other side or do you not know?

Zaynep (01:00:43.118)

I don't know.

Keith Malinak (01:00:45.998)

Because I'll tell you, was pulling out. Oh, no, no. On Interstate 10, man, Lafayette, Louisiana, I nearly tipped over a Ford Escort trying to avoid a stupid-ass turtle in the middle of the interstate. I don't know why I didn't just keep driving straight. But for some reason, thought, let me not try to kill this animal. Instead, let me risk killing myself. And then I tell the story here. Just outside the neighborhood, there's a state highway. And there was a turtle crossing.

Zaynep (01:00:48.376)

I think so.

Keith Malinak (01:01:14.542)

And I had two of the kids with me and we pulled over and I got out and I picked the turtle up, just try to get it to the other side. And it hissed at me. It turned out to be a snapping turtle. It was not happy at all that I was messing with it. So I was like, okay, my bad. So I set it back down and his ass started to go back the other way. And so he had to cross the majority of the highway again. And I was like, no, no, no, bro, you're doing it wrong. But I wasn't messing with him this time. See, I had fall for this. So I get back into the truck.

And we start driving again and I see a semi coming in my rear view mirror. And the kids were looking at the turtle to see if they're turned around, know, they want to see if the the turtle is gonna gonna make it. And I said, guys, turn around, face forward, because I knew what was about to happen. And it happened and it was devastating. was I'm so glad my kids didn't see it because it. It was dramatic what happened.

Zaynep (01:02:06.92)

That's trauma. I would be traumatizing.

Zaynep (01:02:11.865)

I don't want to hear it.

Keith Malinak (01:02:13.442)

Very good. So, okay, hold on a second. I got to admit, this next story, I was going to couple it with the octopus's video there because, and I'll admit it, I just saw the headline. was like, print that one. Print that one. I have no idea what it says. We're going to read this together. I just saw the headline because the headline said, as you know, the Christy Noem, Brian Noem story. Here's the headline.

What is bimbification? DC Bar hosts kink night after prying gnome story. Shall we read this for the first time together, Zay, you want to hear this story or do you want to just move on from the, I don't know where this story is going to go. So we're rolling the dice, we're rolling the dice. I promise you, I haven't read one word from this story, just the headline. There we go. You tell me when to stop, because I don't know where this rabbit hole is going to go.

Washington DC bar didn't waste any time capitalizing on turmoil involving former Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem's husband who was involved in a reported bimbo vacation scandal the district eagle, okay. Yeah, hold on

Hold on kids. I should have known this was going to be a part of this. The District Eagle, a gay bar on U Street.

Stanley, are your glasses, I had them up here. I'm just not a prepared host. See, I should read stories ahead of time, because then I might... The District Eagle, a gay bar on U Street said to blame Brian Gnome for its bimification kink night, held Thursday, April 2nd. We've seen the reports. We've read the leaks.

Keith Malinak (01:04:01.486)

the bar said in an Instagram post, and frankly, we're inspired. Its promotional image featured a man with fake breasts and promises of double D drink specials and apparent reference to photos shared. we know. Oh, where's the story going? I don't know that I want to keep reading. Oh, gosh. The District Eagle calls itself the home for DC's kink communities. And Thursday's event leaned into the political satire, blah, blah. Let's see. I just want to see what else is in the story before I keep going.

Oh gosh, here we go. Whether you're a husband with a secret or just a fan of prohibitively large proportions, we've got the padding and the pores to make your Thursday night truly jaw-dropping. Do you think she knew about this? Is there any?

Keith Malinak (01:04:51.234)

Did she know about, did Kristi Noem know about her husband's bimbofication kink fetish or is she just shocked like the rest of us?

Zaynep (01:04:58.766)

She's nice, huh?

Keith Malinak (01:05:01.868)

I feel like it changes the whole perspective of the whole Corey Lewandowski thing. Now I think it's pretty obvious what was happening there.

Keith Malinak (01:05:14.06)

Any more thoughts? Thank you. It's Stanley's hair. But Stanley's glasses are missing. And that's kind of pissing me off because it's like I don't have the full ensemble for when I go down to the district eagle later. here we go.

Keith Malinak (01:05:35.65)

Don't judge Brian Noem. That wasn't as fun as if he had an S in his name. That would have made it a little bit more fun to say. Okay, what else do I have here? my goodness. Okay. Check this out. I'm sure this is a scientific study all the way, but there is one sport before I give it away. Any guesses? Anybody in the chat want to guess what sport?

If you play this, what is that? think three hours a week. You play this sport three hours a week, you're going to add 10 years to your life according to this crazy scientific study.

No, you have to be a little bit more active than that, Zay. Oh my gosh, hang on a second. Hang on, I'm sorry. Let me interrupt you here for a second. This thing is turning on or? Come on now, let's stay on, damn you. What is the? There we go. Okay, I have to remember this for next time. We're gonna go full Elton John next time. Okay, so the sport is, any guesses over here? Lynn says golf. Anybody got a guess?

Zaynep (01:06:45.208)

cornhole.

Keith Malinak (01:06:46.296)

Cornyl.

Zaynep (01:06:48.266)

Someone in the comments threw a cornhole.

Keith Malinak (01:06:50.678)

I missed that. I'm sorry. My mouse was covering your comment there, born genius. Cornhole's Oath. It's actually tennis. Will add 9.7 years to your life. Next in line is badminton. You play that three hours a week, you'll get 6.2 extra years. But yeah, it definitely, I didn't care enough to understand all of the nuance of the story and what gets triggered or what have you. I think it's, you

cardiovascular and stuff like that, but it said 56 % lower cardiovascular incidences for those that play tennis at least three hours a week. So I'm happy for those folks. I'm still not taking up tennis. I tried it when I was a kid. In fact, y'all, you guys might be interested in knowing this. Maybe this is a fun fact that you weren't aware of my 100 year old Nana. my gosh, this explains it! How she got to 100!

She and I used to play golf and tennis when I was a kid, over the summer. She played tennis all the time and she played golf and it's all.

Now we know how. So there you go. Play tennis and golf just to be safe. Okay, let's talk about this. This story actually very much pisses me off. you, Zay, look and see if there's an update. Look up 81 year old Dodgers fan tickets and see if there's an update because watch this story and then let's revisit it if you have any new information. Errol Siegel is a-

50 year Dodger season ticket holder and he says the team has printed his season tickets every year until now. The 81 year old says the team told him they've gone fully digital and printing his tickets is no longer an option. No, I'm Alex Rosier with NBC LA. This year I received a notice that no longer will I be able to get printed tickets and that's a problem for Errol who doesn't know how to use a computer and he barely has a phone. This is nothing. That's it.

Keith Malinak (01:08:57.186)

I don't think you can get tickets on that phone. You can't. We reached out to the team for a response to see if they'll make an exception and print tickets for the 81 year old. We haven't heard back, but yesterday Errol wanted to try something. He left this recycling center, went to Dodger Stadium and bought four tickets at the ticket window. Guess what? He got them for printed tickets, so clearly they can print tickets. They could print them. They just don't want to print them for me. How does this make you feel? Terrible.

50 years, five generations I've had these tickets. 50 years and they threw me under the bus. that's garbage, dude. I don't understand the recycling center, how that fit into the story, though.

Zaynep (01:09:40.024)

Yeah, what was that all about? What the f*** did I miss? First of all, why was he there? Why did that make it into the story?

Keith Malinak (01:09:41.473)

Alright, what are

Well, yeah, let's say. Right, that's almost like a like a high school, you know, public access like they're they're learning how to edit and cutaways and stand up. What was that? no, the recycling center detail aside, we got to that made me sad. I didn't like that. And screw the Dodgers.

Zaynep (01:09:57.194)

cycling center. He left! Did live there?

Keith Malinak (01:10:12.606)

Is there an update? Did you find anything?

Zaynep (01:10:13.966)

No, I'm not seeing an update. I don't-

Keith Malinak (01:10:17.07)

What is that? Do they not? They don't take cash at these stadiums either. John Fetterman is trying to make it so that you have to take cash. mean, our fiat currency says on it, this is good for all debts and whatnot. And yet there are restaurants over here in North Fort Worth that are, it's like a whole restaurant row now where they have no cash accepted on the door. And I went into one of them because I got tired of walking.

And I went into one of them acting like I didn't know that they didn't take cash. And so I went in there, looked at the menu. was like, I can do this. And then I played dumb. was like, when she said the total, I said, you don't take cash. And then I said, says right here that you have to take cash. And the manager was standing there. And he said, no, no, we'll take your cash. We just can't give you change.

And the grand total was $11.90, I think. Yeah, $11.90. So I was like, all right, you know what? You can keep the dime as a tip if you bring it to my tip. I didn't say it quite like that, but the point was made. So anyway, when Push came to shove, they were like, OK, so you're going hold us to the whole take the cash thing? Anyway, so.

Zaynep (01:11:36.078)

Isn't that crazy how some places are like that? They're trying to be completely cashless. Meanwhile, yesterday I went to, I was driving from one side of Florida to my side of Florida. And on the way there was an Amish, there's an Amish farm that I always go to. And like they sell like raw milk, like fresh eggs, duck eggs, everything.

Keith Malinak (01:12:04.462)

Look at the Amish

Zaynep (01:12:06.478)

Yeah, there's not many of them, but like this one group of Amish has this farm that I love. anyway, so some days of the week, including yesterday, their farm stand is completely like self-operated. Wait, I don't know what the word is, but basically they have a thing of money open there and then there's a notebook. So you write your name, you write what you got.

and then you basically pay it and take your change yourself. And it's only cash. And there's no one who works there. Yes.

Keith Malinak (01:12:42.048)

It's the honor system. I feel like that would totally work in, the Nebraska panhandle. Maybe Wyoming, rural Utah. But in Florida, people are doing it. I mean, we don't know for a fact, but I'm sure that people, because you've got to understand that if they aren't being honest, they'll just go out of business. So good. I'm so glad to hear that.

Zaynep (01:13:07.404)

Yeah, and I mean, it's where this place is. It's just all farmland, like everything you see around. There's like fields of cows and there's a place that sells honey. Like it's it's a big place and there's like nothing around except for farmland. So it's like this little place that I guess not too many people go to anyway. OK, so I guess it's safe enough. But if they put that.

in Miami, they would instantly go out of business.

Keith Malinak (01:13:40.258)

Hey, right, right, right. Well, that's kind of cool. I like to hear that there's these little pockets of sanity out there still. Yeah. And that's actually really good. But if that guy gets inside the stadium, if it's like any other stadium now, the old guy, the 81-year-old, he's not going to be able to buy anything without a credit card or what have you, which pisses me off, man. It pisses me off. And I just want to let me just

throw this in there, because nobody watching this show is a fan of the government. If you've watched this show for more than five minutes, you know that we don't think too highly of our government. But I do have to give kudos to...

Keith Malinak (01:14:25.516)

Maybe I don't say that. know what? Shout out to the Department of Labor. Let me just say this. Let me just say this. I just want to say this because I like that John Fetterman is trying to force, and he shouldn't have to, it's on the money. Take the money, damn it. But he's trying to force businesses to take cash. But let me just say that there is a company out there that was screwing over its workers.

with the way they did the tips and stuff, you know, and they were paying them and other stuff. And then somebody might have thought that there was some fuzzy math going on. And somebody might have called the, let's just pick a random state, the Texas Department of Labor and then transferred to an individual at the Texas Department of Labor and may have left a message saying, hey, maybe you could, maybe you could look into this company because I think the books are off.

And that may have been hypothetically a year and a half ago. And then lo and behold, in today's mail at this hypothetical place, somebody's kid may have gotten a letter from the federal Department of Labor about your owed quite a substantial amount of money from this hypothetical company that hypothetically screwed you over. You have a really awesome dad.

Anyway, so there you go. So shout out to the Department of Labor because sometimes, you know, and so I just wonder if when you say that, the point I'm trying to make, and it's very serendipitous that it happened today, the mail run, go to these cashless restaurants and tell them, show them the money right there on the bottom left corner. This is acceptable, legal tender here. You have to do this. And I would really hate to call one of our...

I'd hate to be a Karen and call a government entity to come over here and figure out why you aren't taking my cash, but you might get your way. might get some, you know what I should have said? I should have said, I'll give you 11 bucks cash. You're not gonna screw me out of my dime. I'll give you a $10 bill and a one and take it or leave it. I'm gonna try that next time actually. And if you don't take it, then I'm going to Senator Fetterman's office. Just you wait.

Keith Malinak (01:16:43.726)

Anyhow, hey Rebecca's over there in the chat Hi Rebecca, I guess the baby Must be keeping her up right now. It's probably is it tomorrow morning yet in Norway someone checked that I don't know time zones very well. Okay, let's Make gosh. I have to play this for you this speaking of this digital new reality An AI insanity. I have to play this for you

I feel so badly for this girl. She's trying to make it in the music business. And I want you to hear her tell this story. My problem with AI-generated music has just worsened exponentially. I'm going to try to catch y'all up on what happened, because this is crazy. It's unprecedented. It's the Wild West. And it could happen to anyone. Basically, as you already know, an entity called Timeless Sounds IR uploaded AI-generated versions of my songs to all major streaming platforms.

And to do that, they fed YouTube videos of me to an AI engine that then mimicked my voice and playing. They used a distributor, which I just discovered, and that distributor's name is Vidya. They use Vidya to upload all these AI generated songs. And Vidya has since decided that it was going to make copyright claims on all of the videos that were used to feed the AI engine to sound like me. So Vidya has come forward and made copyright claims on my YouTube page.

And because YouTube does not personally review these things, I am no longer making money on YouTube. Video is making money on YouTube off of my own videos of me playing my own banjo in my own backyard with traditional folk songs, some for my own family.

Keith Malinak (01:18:27.658)

over AI generated music. So I just wanted to update y'all and I wanted to let you know that the only thing I can do about it is dispute this copyright claim. I can't dispute the copyright claim with YouTube because YouTube doesn't get involved. I can dispute it with video. Do you think video is going to listen to me? I don't think so. So, that's AI generated music for y'all. And these are the consequences of using it. So if this looks like a bright future.

I reconsider. goodness, man. That makes me sad.

Keith Malinak (01:19:06.574)

You're frozen up, but we can hear your keyboard. Now you're not. Now you're not. I mean, your keyboard clearly wasn't. That was tragically sad. mean, that girl may just bow out of the whole music business altogether if this is how it's going to be. That's not good. What are we going to do with AI, y'all? What are we? mean, what would you suggest there? I do you the government involved? I mean, seriously, I don't know what.

Zaynep (01:19:09.134)

I'm frozen?

Keith Malinak (01:19:35.788)

I don't know what to do with AI and stuff like that.

Zaynep (01:19:38.69)

Like with stuff like this currently, there's just way too many gray areas to realistically even do something because there's for a while, there's going to be new problems like this that keep coming up that it's going to be things that we can't even think of. two, three years ago, would you have ever thought that there would be AI music being made? And I can guarantee you that

a lot of artists and music groups and I'm pretty sure they're doing this with K-pop in particular. They're making AI music.

Like, I'm absolutely certain.

Keith Malinak (01:20:25.206)

It's like, know what? Milli Vanilli got in trouble for lip syncing. yet AI, sounds like you think that's taking over. Speaking of K-pop, can I just say there's some restaurant, I don't even know what it's called, it's K-something, whatever, and they sell hamburgers and stuff. It's it's some Korean hamburger place. Anyway, I went in there pretty clueless as to what I was, I just wanted to launch one day and I got a burger and I was surrounded by nothing but.

video walls of of k-pop bands singing and I couldn't get out of there fast enough the food I don't even know it's some I know I don't want to say it's like k-pop burger or something I don't even know let's see here hang on let's see that's what I'm gonna google k-pop burgers it is yeah it's k-pop burgers

It's in Fort Worth there if anyone's looking it up and you can just okay. it's got 4.4 stars 1200 reviews I Wasn't a fan. It's on Timberland Boulevard if you're if you're googling this You found it. Okay, so let's Go inside the store there. I should be having this on the screen. I'll just hold it up if No, they don't have a real good shot of inside the store

Zaynep (01:21:31.34)

K-pop burger.

Zaynep (01:21:37.154)

I found it.

Keith Malinak (01:21:52.31)

Yeah, no, I just remember sitting there eating and there's like three walls of TVs and they were all playing this k-pop concert thing and it was just terrifying. So anyway, they're too sweet, you know, like I remember the burger being like sweet or something. I don't know. Wasn't a fan. Let's see. Hold on. Hold on. Rebecca's chiming in. And by the way, think Lynn, somebody said they don't see Rebecca.

Yeah, she's not on the screen. She's just hanging out over in the chat. So let's see what she said. AI is like college degrees. Gives mediocre people the ability to pretend they created something and that they're smart. Oh, ha ha ha ha. Wow. I should probably preview your stuff first. No, that's interesting. I don't know, man. I was hungry, Crispy. And it was right there. It was it was a hamburger joint. And it's a never make that mistake. What? I have a

Zaynep (01:22:44.558)

Wait.

Zaynep (01:22:48.046)

I'm a fan of K-pop. I like K-pop. Yeah, not all of it. I do enjoy some groups. Like for example, I'm a huge fan of BTS.

Keith Malinak (01:23:00.086)

Who isn't? Like, I'm sorry. Who that enjoys K-pop isn't a fan of BTS. That's probably what was around. I couldn't recognize him.

Zaynep (01:23:08.59)

Everyone loves BTS. Anyone who likes K-pop, even people who don't like K-pop, enjoy BTS.

Keith Malinak (01:23:11.278)

Okay, yeah.

Keith Malinak (01:23:16.632)

Now, you know what? I'll make a promise to you. I'll sit through at least one BTS song. If I had to sit through one BTS song, which one would you want me to... I'll write down the title and I'll make sure to make... And then I'll report back to you.

Zaynep (01:23:32.066)

Hold on, this is like the impossible question to ask me. I'm like a mega fan, so I like a lot of their songs, but I think their absolute most famous song that everyone's at least kind of heard is called Dynamite. It's like the most classic.

Keith Malinak (01:23:50.094)

You think I heard it and I just don't know it was him? OK. Yeah, that'd be fun. I'll check that out. oh, well, there we go. Hang on. The most organized person in the world, ladies and gentlemen, Keith Malinak. Just making sure to put that where I can see that because I want to listen to that and get that off my list ASAP. You know what I'm saying? OK, so what else do we have here? Oh, OK. I love helpful tips. I love sharing helpful tips on this program.

Zaynep (01:23:51.864)

Probably.

Keith Malinak (01:24:19.288)

mean, that's what's about to happen here. it's called useful folding tips. You're ready? You're ready? Let's see. Let's see how many of these you're gonna take to heart, y'all. Here we go. One sock when you need it. Use the cross fold to make a tiny pocket. You will never lose a sock again. Two, throwing underwood is the way to fold clothes. Hang on. Turns out.

Okay, you're doing this for napkins? is the real way to fold clothes. One, always missing one sock when you need it. Use the cross fold to make it tiny. Who's doing that? Zae, you doing that? Okay. You pocket, you will never lose a sock again. Two, throwing underwear around is not hygienic. Fold the center inward and tuck. the? shut up, Mr. AI. Bucket clean, no more worry. You doing that? About cleanliness. Three, winter without a puffy jacket is impossible, but those fluffy jackets take up all your space.

Zaynep (01:24:50.936)

No.

Zaynep (01:25:03.445)

No.

Keith Malinak (01:25:10.498)

fold them the right way.

Zaynep (01:25:13.462)

My coat wouldn't even fold like that. Right.

Keith Malinak (01:25:15.854)

Hang it up and be done with it. You can fit 10 of them in one suitcase.

Zaynep (01:25:19.884)

Why would you take ten big coats with you? Why would you put ten of them in a-

Keith Malinak (01:25:24.898)

want to point out, and it holds true to this, it held true to the story earlier, I usually watch something like this. I watch the first two things. I'm like, okay, yeah, we'll do that. So after the first couple of things on videos like this, y'all, I'm watching it for the first time like you, but you're absolutely right. I had the same thought just then, like, okay, yeah, let me, first they're going to charge you to carry that suitcase on if you want to check that bag. But yeah, let me take my 10 winter coats with me on my trip. Shut up.

fold them into a book shape. look brand new when you wear them next. Okay, am I the only person that when I'm clothes away, I've washed clothes and all, am I the only person that doesn't have time to do this? Like, I don't have time to sit there and fold everything. You hang it up. You kind of fold a couple of the things, but I don't go crazy with the folding. Give me a break, man.

Zaynep (01:26:18.54)

This is excessive folding. You don't need to tuck everything in to create pockets and then stick it in.

Keith Malinak (01:26:26.478)

This is if you have a disorder. Like if you have a thing or a folding fetish, then you're going to try all of these. hoodies, always fold the hood first, then tuck the sleeves back. Fold it. Do they not have hangers in wherever the hell stand this is? Up and down into a pillow shape. It looks as smooth as if it was freshly ironed. Your closet suddenly gains 10 extra square feet. So satisfying to look. So satisfying. Yeah, that's sad. I'm sorry. I'm going to be wearing wrinkled clothes.

if this is the standard. All right, this is for people that have way too much time on their hands.

Zaynep (01:27:21.12)

I'm okay with that one, honestly.

Keith Malinak (01:27:24.12)

Okay, if that's the one that you would do.

Zaynep (01:27:26.222)

If there was one that I was forced to do, I would do the jeans.

Zaynep (01:27:35.288)

Just fold the legs in and then fold it over. But here's how I fold my jeans. Imagine I'm holding jeans.

Keith Malinak (01:27:43.527)

I gotta switch over to the camera here. Okay, I'm looking. All right, you're holding genes.

Zaynep (01:27:46.946)

I'm holding jeans, okay? Like they're dangling down. I fold them with the butt out. And then I fold that in half. And then I fold that in half. So I have jean.

Keith Malinak (01:27:50.19)

Okay.

Keith Malinak (01:27:53.88)

Blood out.

Keith Malinak (01:28:03.822)

I'll try something like that. I'll see. Because I'm trying to think of the way I do it. I'm just looking around here. I got everything else in this damn room, just not a pair of pants. I'm just trying to think of how. I think I fold. Yeah, I think I fold butt out. Yeah. And then like that. I think I do it very similarly, actually.

Zaynep (01:28:22.092)

Yeah, you just like fold it like a like hot dog style and then hamburger style hamburger style.

Keith Malinak (01:28:29.802)

so now it's hamburger style. Yeah, I got to mix that in my vernacular. OK. All right. Hold on. I'm just catching up here. Yeah, right. OK. Matilda does beg to differ. My gosh. Let's see. Hold on. You wish you were one what, Rebecca? Someone with time on your hands? Yeah. Amen. Right. Hangers. It's that simple. Hang on. Let me check over here because some of these don't load at the bottom here. So Linsis Joan is a folder.

Yeah, that's interesting. Yeah, Kara, all right. Yeah, your radio station still play Milli Vanilli. The songs were actually good. mean, it's OK. OK, I mean, they're not bad. I'll say they're not bad, Milli Vanilli. Do you know Milli Vanilli? I'm saying no. OK. Yeah, just too young. OK. Let's see here. You should look up Milli Vanilli. You should find a documentary this weekend on the tragic

story of Milli Vanilli.

Zaynep (01:29:31.69)

It's Milly Vanilly, Dad. it's two people.

Keith Malinak (01:29:35.212)

Yeah, there's Millie and there's Vanilli. And I don't know which one is no longer with us, but it might be Millie or Vanilli. It's probably one of the two, I would guess. OK, I got to show this to you. All right, I don't know. So this here, it's I want to say that upfront that this story is apparently not true.

But then I got to thinking, well, what if it were and would it be illegal? And so somebody posted on X that North Carolina state police are now going to start giving out speeding tickets from drones. So I got to thinking, if that were actually true, which it's just a matter time before it will be.

Should that be illegal? And let me go around the room and then I'll just tell you what I'm thinking here. There's no right or wrong answer. I'm just, honestly, I'm just curious what, let's start with you, Zay. Should giving speeding tickets from a drone clocking you going down the interstate, should that be illegal?

Zaynep (01:30:48.834)

Well, don't they already kind of do that where the big signs on the side of the highway say like speed enforced by aircraft? They've been doing this. really? Yeah. On my drive, since I drive Florida, between Florida and New York a lot, I always see like multiple stretches of the highway in different states. Mostly, I think I see it in Virginia. It says like speed limit enforced by aircraft.

Keith Malinak (01:30:57.294)

Right. I don't know.

Keith Malinak (01:31:19.182)

Yeah, there's the way they do that is they they track a certain spot on the road. And if you get to the next spot by a certain time, then you're going clearly above the speed limit or something like that. Before we go any further. I mean, we have to address the elephant in the room. And what that is, is the fact that A.I. made this image. And we've got that's about to be a bigger problem than speeding tickets. We have two cars headed right for each other on an interstate.

That's not going to end well. so the way I look at this is, and see, the aircraft thing, in theory, you've got a human being flying the aircraft. So in theory, you could ask to have your accuser show up in court. In theory, you've got someone piloting the drone and therefore clocking you, controlling the drone, a human being that you could, in theory, have them show up in court.

The traffic cameras, no, that is not a human controlled deal. That is strictly automated. And I want to face my accuser in court. Well, you can't unbolt the camera down here on Beach Street and Highway 820 and bring him into the courtroom for me so that I can. Well, anyway, Texas got rid of their speeding traffic cameras, know, the red light cameras, stuff like that.

But I just wonder if this would hold up legally. I don't know. It's coming. Again, the story isn't accurate, but it got me to thinking, well, what if it were? I think that might hold up in court, and I don't like that because I want to be able to speak. I be able to speak. I don't want machines controlling. We're getting way too comfortable with machines all over the place and cameras and whatnot. I don't like it. I don't like it.

Virginia by the way be careful there. I don't know if it's the same way it was but back before you were born say I was driving through Virginia and and I was informed and incorrectly so that they don't like radar detectors in that state That that is definitely illegal there now you can make the case that you're only picking up a radio signal that's transmitted But they don't care

Keith Malinak (01:33:47.714)

They don't mess around with radar detectors in Virginia. They say they didn't 30 years ago. But I'm sure it's maybe it's the same. Of course, that state has only gotten more free in the last several decades. So I'm sure. Hey, vote no on Prop 20 or whatever the hell it is. The redistricting line that Spanberger wants. OK, where are we at here? You're vanishing. What's a.

Zaynep (01:34:15.946)

yeah, sorry, I'm like rocking side to side because I screwed up my back really bad over the winter and I can't sit still for too long otherwise my back really hurts.

Keith Malinak (01:34:27.083)

Should we take a timeout you mean pull you off the camera while you go and like walk around or whatnot or?

Zaynep (01:34:31.438)

Oh no, I could just do this a little bit.

Keith Malinak (01:34:33.932)

that's fine. Yeah, do that. better. You want to tell us what happened?

Zaynep (01:34:38.926)

Yeah, I so, okay, I went to a small town and no, this was a small town in Japan and

Keith Malinak (01:34:49.25)

Not the Amish town.

Keith Malinak (01:34:55.15)

Oh, hold on. We need to address that real quick. I want you to tell your story. But what happened really with you not appearing as often, et cetera? You were constantly traveling. that's all you do. So when I reached out to you yesterday and I got over to you, because nine times out of 10, you're overseas. And it's like, oh, crap. I'm sorry. I didn't mean for the international text go to WhatsApp or whatever the hell it is. And so I was surprised that you were

in Florida because this woman travels more than any human being that I've ever met in my life. So I'm surprised that you're in Florida. But so in this story, and I don't even know what Crispy wants, Keith, that's the message. Keith, Crispy, hi. So, but tell us what happened to your back there, because you were in Japan, said.

Zaynep (01:35:51.136)

Yeah, yeah. So I spent about six weeks in Japan. I went in early January and then I came back at the end of February. So I was there and I was in this small town in... We were in... Damn it. I forgot the place we were at. Kyoto. No, no. I'm just throwing out. Kyoto. It was like two hours or three hours.

Keith Malinak (01:36:15.672)

these names.

Zaynep (01:36:21.172)

outside of Sapporo. So it was so snowy, so cold, and for some reason, they don't like salt the grounds everywhere. And there was like super thick ice. And I slipped on the ice and fell on the same hip three times. And then like my whole side, like, including like my butt cheek, my hip, my thigh, and like up the side, it was like

purple, green bruised. And then on top of that, I went snowboarding and then I fell so bad in a way that like my legs like scorpioned over me a little bit and like twisted at the same time. And I thought I like broke my back or something. So I had to just lay there for like five minutes and not move. And ever since then,

Like I screwed up my knee as well, but my back is so bad. It's been like two months and it's unbelievably bad. And I wonder if I like pinched a nerve or something. Cause I found one thing that helps. A weighted hula hoop.

Zaynep (01:37:38.626)

Like nothing helps except the weighted hula hoop.

Keith Malinak (01:37:44.184)

Hang on a second. Hang on. First of all, I think you need to meet Kelly at some point, because I feel like Kelly could help. I feel like the two of you are receptive enough to alternative treatments, as are many people in the chat. I feel like there's an answer. I don't know what it is personally, but.

Zaynep (01:38:08.212)

Yeah, if she could help me, that'd be great.

Keith Malinak (01:38:10.316)

like there's there's gonna be a way to fix this permanently so let's yeah yeah okay but weighted hold on but now obviously it's not practical for you to go out to the Amish farms you know doing one of these numbers with a weighted hula hoop

Zaynep (01:38:16.024)

Get me in touch with Kelly.

Zaynep (01:38:27.342)

I've a weighted hula hoop in my room. I love hula hoops. I've loved hula hoops ever since I was a little girl. So I've already had one. Well, I have two hula hoops in my room, but one of them is weighted. And I just got to Florida 10 days ago anyway. And I was like, my God, what can I do? What would help my back? I even went to Tractor Supply and got horse liniment that they rub on sore horses.

and tried that, that didn't even help. So I'm like, let me try the hula hoop. And it miraculously helped.

Keith Malinak (01:39:05.432)

Hold on. Okay, I got a suggestion. But first I have a question. How did you, cause I probably haven't tried a hula hoop on since Clinton was president. So my question to you is what made you think, hey, I know, me try, especially considering your back is messed up. Let me mess around with this hula hoop. Maybe that'll fix everything. Well, how did you stumble into that?

Zaynep (01:39:32.11)

Uh, cause when I sit still is when it hurts. Okay. Or if I, or if I'm moving and I like do this reaching movement and I like stretch it, that doesn't feel good. But if I like very gently like kind of move around, it feels good. So I'm like, the hula hoop kind of does that.

Keith Malinak (01:39:53.486)

We're gonna figure this out today, actually. Hold on. What's the difference between a hula hoop and a weighted hula

Zaynep (01:39:59.426)

The normal hula hoop is just super light and it either has like little beads or some water in it, just like a tiny bit. The weighted hula hoop is, people use it for literally exercising. It's a pretty good ab workout.

Keith Malinak (01:40:16.43)

So here's my suggestion. First of all, do you have any Icy Hot or anything like that? Or is it a bone? What do you think it is?

Zaynep (01:40:23.263)

my god, I've considered a lot of things. I've tried Icy Hot, Bangay, Tiger Balm, the horse stuff.

Keith Malinak (01:40:34.22)

Hey, look at that. Kara says there's a smart weighted hula hoop Facebook page. It's a group smart weighted hula hoop group Facebook page. Of course you should join it. Are you on Facebook?

Zaynep (01:40:44.814)

Should I join it?

Zaynep (01:40:48.918)

I haven't used Facebook in years, but I have one.

Keith Malinak (01:40:51.96)

Okay, smart weighted hula hoop group, get there and report back to us. So one last thing I would suggest, and I mean this sincerely. Well, you know what? I got two suggestions. Listen to me, man. I'm turning into the natural healer. Maybe try go to an acupuncture place.

Zaynep (01:41:11.332)

I should.

Keith Malinak (01:41:12.236)

You should. then also this one, I swear by this thing. And I had success with the acupuncture. But ladies and gentlemen, as you know, I'm a big fan of the red light therapy. And the only thing that sucks about the red light therapy, y'all, is that it heats up and it's summer now, especially in the South. Texas for me, Zay is in Florida.

Not comfortable trying to sleep at night with one of these lights wrapped around your leg. It gets hot. Now the winter time, man, I was using this thing every day.

Zaynep (01:41:51.244)

You sleep with it? It's so bright.

Keith Malinak (01:41:54.094)

Well, it's under the, this isn't the one that actually I use in the bed. The one in the bed is like a wrap and it's under the covers and I can't even see it. You know what saying? It's like wade, it's no light gets out of there. So, but I would, I would, I can send you the link for the wrap and I would encourage you to put it on your back as much as you can and do your research if you want.

There's nothing. You know what? You know what? Here's what it is. Here's what it is. It's the ivermectin of light. There's no negatives here with red light therapy. What do we got there? What you got? Then put it, have you put it on your back yet?

Zaynep (01:42:30.294)

My red light machine.

Of Of course! I'm a big red light fan. I do red light on my face every single day. Because, I mean, that's not for health, that's for more vanity reasons.

Keith Malinak (01:42:48.526)

Okay, I'm sorry, I missed that. I'm sorry. What's for vanity reasons?

Zaynep (01:42:52.94)

My red light, I do it on my face every single day for t-

Keith Malinak (01:42:56.085)

okay, that's fine. That's whatever. Yeah, it should work. mean...

Zaynep (01:42:59.328)

I'm trying to not age at all.

Keith Malinak (01:43:03.49)

I got news for you.

Zaynep (01:43:05.911)

It will happen.

Keith Malinak (01:43:06.968)

Getting old sucks, so do your best. I wish I had a red light therapy when I was 22 or whatever you are. So, but when it comes to the red light therapy thing, maybe yours is broken. Your box isn't good. You need one of these things. You gotta get the one. I'll send you the link. But man, you can't be hurt like this for the rest of your life.

Zaynep (01:43:31.15)

I know, The good news is it's felt a little better in the last two weeks.

Keith Malinak (01:43:40.863)

what did it happen

Zaynep (01:43:42.584)

This happened at the end of January. So the last two weeks-ish, it's been a little better. So I got back from Japan the end of February, and then I was in upstate New York for about a month, and there it was so bad. It was unbelievably bad. It felt like someone poured concrete into my lower back, and I could barely move, and it just hurt so bad.

But it's felt a little better ever since I got to Florida for some reason.

Keith Malinak (01:44:17.28)

It well, got news for you. Everything that sucks is amplified by the in the Northeast. Yeah. yeah. The cold. I meant to say the cold. think I said something else. OK, so you probably don't want to be doing this. I would imagine 56 years old flexible like a 26 year old. Wow. OK. OK, here we are. All right. So that's probably not something you're going to try to do.

Zaynep (01:44:38.632)

No, and also my car has something called a door.

Keith Malinak (01:44:41.858)

Has a door. Okay, so now this lady here, I don't know how old she is, but she's gonna try to pull off what that lady just did. So let's see how flexible she is.

Keith Malinak (01:44:53.166)

Keith Malinak (01:45:01.55)

Yeah

Keith Malinak (01:45:06.488)

Don't break that mirror! Don't pull it off! no.

Keith Malinak (01:45:12.482)

What print? Look at that.

Keith Malinak (01:45:25.742)

There you go So I don't guess you'll be trying that anytime soon Okay, you gotta get that we got to get that that back Fix that's gonna become a big problem

Zaynep (01:45:31.491)

No.

Zaynep (01:45:40.162)

Yeah, I'm concerned. Well, actually, no, I lied. I for a while when it was so bad, like really, really bad, I thought am I stuck like this forever? But now that it's slowly started getting a little better the last few days, I'm hopeful for the first time.

Keith Malinak (01:45:59.426)

Pardon me, I've got to take a pause in the action to let the red light just roll right into my eyes here, all for better health. Y'all just sit tight. I'm busy. All right. So, remember the exploding trees? Do you remember all of that talk a few months ago when it was really cold? I'm sorry. Does news of cold weather ever get down to Florida?

Zaynep (01:46:30.094)

Occasionally, when there's a big snowstorm or something somewhere, we read them and we laugh at them.

Keith Malinak (01:46:39.21)

OK, so did you hear about the exploding trees? Big controversy on the internet. And people are trying to figure out if the videos were AI, if they were real, so on and so forth. Well, mean, it is called a frost crack. It says exploding trees are possible in the Midwest. No, they don't actually explode. But the expected extreme temperature drops can cause sap inside trees to freeze rapidly. I've also read where water gets somehow in them or whatever I have.

This causes pressure to build, causing a sudden fracture called a frost crack. So there's that. We've got that. I haven't even seen this one. Well, hang on a second. Perfect example of loud cracking sounds from a tree in extreme cold. This video is in minus 14 degrees with approximate for OK. You don't have to put the minus 40 windchill. That doesn't affect the tree. OK, anyway.

Keith Malinak (01:47:33.859)

Yeah.

Keith Malinak (01:47:42.486)

Yikes. And then I guess, you know, some of them pop eventually. I don't know. But anyway, that's what they look like when they survive, because they've got like these little scars, you know. That's the update is that you can tell is the thing. If you see a tree with a scar like that, then that it's been through some cold weather trauma, apparently. And there was an article I won't get into. It's pretty lengthy and very nerdy. But the

Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources has gone out to see the health of their trees after the extreme cold from this winter and they they've seen plenty of evidence in trees just like that there so I guess it is a real thing apparently so there you go but not in Florida I wouldn't expect it hey did you get snow in Florida the last couple winters because it snowed in in northern Florida did it

Zaynep (01:48:33.854)

Not where I am. I'm in South Florida, so no.

Keith Malinak (01:48:39.854)

What's the coldest it's got? And how long have you been in Florida? About five, six years? It was COVID.

Zaynep (01:48:43.566)

Yeah, something like that. I wasn't here at all this winter. But in the winter it does sometimes, like at night, I don't know, it gets like 60.

Keith Malinak (01:48:48.955)

okay.

Zaynep (01:49:00.44)

sometimes slightly colder.

Keith Malinak (01:49:02.872)

Think that's funny? No, I love the cold. So I couldn't stand that kind of warm cold. What are we? OK, hold up your wrist. What's dangling there? Charm bracelet? What's happening?

Zaynep (01:49:14.614)

no, it's my phone.

Keith Malinak (01:49:17.932)

Holy crap. That would be so freaking annoying.

Zaynep (01:49:23.712)

Really? I love it. Each time I pick it up, it like greets me. It's like...

Zaynep (01:49:33.716)

Maybe it sounds better in person. I don't know.

Keith Malinak (01:49:36.152)

I guess, hold on, it got down to 30 degrees in Punta Gorda. Hold on, what is Punta Gorda? Actually don't look that. No, that's in Florida. Punta Gorda, right? Punta Gorda means, is it, hold on, fat point or something, means, let's see. Yeah, what does it mean? It means fat point, there you go. Is that what I said? What did I say? Did I say? What did I say y'all? I have no idea.

Zaynep (01:49:43.246)

Is that Mexico?

Zaynep (01:49:56.075)

it is in Florida.

Keith Malinak (01:50:06.83)

Fat point, fat, yeah, see, you got a fat point, that's good. Good job. See, you are a genius, boring genius. Okay, what do I wanna do here? Oh, wow, hold on, I'm just catching up here. Wait, that's not freezing, it's blowing trees. More concerned about the exploding hay bale. Yeah, Tyler, you sent us a- Oh, yeah, it is, he sent a video when we were talking about the trees and there's hay bales that get so, it's the, Tyler, you're gonna have to.

chime in if you want me get this right, but some sort of bacteria or something forms in the wet hay or something and then combust and the next thing you know, whole fields are on fire. I probably butchered the knowledge there that he shared with me several months back. It takes 40 gallons of sap to make one gallon of syrup. What's the deal with all the water that almonds take? I mean, that's inefficient. It's...

It's I forgot what the ratio is but for like one pound of almonds it takes like an ocean's worth of water roughly something like that And hold on. What did I miss? What did I say? What did I say? Did I miss it? That's what she said and where's the bell? I've lost the bell. I barely found the glasses. I'm sad because I'm not prepared What did I say? Okay

What's the question, Kara? What'd you ask? Curious. What do people in Japan think about us? hear how other nations laugh at us or hate us. know, Zay is the perfect person to ask because she's visited, what is it? Europe, the 700 countries? How many total now?

Zaynep (01:51:36.718)

even know. I haven't counted.

Keith Malinak (01:51:38.99)

Listen to that! I'm not gonna count them, give me a break. So what do people, and I wanna get political here, but I just wanna know in general, whether it's in 2026 or 2012, what do people think about Americans worldwide? Where are we at on the old respect scale?

Zaynep (01:52:00.91)

I can't speak really for Japanese people. I mean, I spent... Of the last 12 months, I was there for like four or five months of the year. I spent a ton of time in Japan this past year. And I've had nothing but good experiences. Except for two times. One time when I was with my brother and...

We were in this very residential area and we wanted to go have dinner at this barbecue restaurant. They wouldn't even let us in. There were empty tables and we're pretty sure it's because we're not Japanese. What? I have, I have heard of some slight

I don't want to call it discrimination, I guess discrimination based on Japanese versus non-Japanese. But that was of the four or five months I was there, that was the one time. And then another time we went to this one bar. I mean, this has nothing to do with like being Japanese or not Japanese. This guy was just crazy. It was the bartender.

We sat down and then the person I was with ordered a drink and I was still looking at the menu and I wasn't sure if I even wanted to drink. It was a really small bar. There were empty seats and one other couple behind us. And I said, I'm not ready to order yet. I need a few minutes. And the guy went nuts. The bartender who's also the owner.

He started screaming at me. He's like, you are not a queen. You can't get everything you want. And he picked up a glass and went like that, like he was going to throw it at me. And then I'm like, my God, okay, okay. I'll order a drink. Like, me, a, give me a whiskey. And he's like, I don't want you in my bar anymore. Get out, get out. And he kicked us out.

Keith Malinak (01:54:08.686)

a second. Continue. I just want to know, is he speaking English? Are you speaking Japanese?

Zaynep (01:54:14.584)

No, he was speaking English.

Keith Malinak (01:54:17.742)

Okay, keep going.

Zaynep (01:54:19.274)

no, that was it, and then he kicked us out.

Keith Malinak (01:54:22.208)

What the hell? don't understand this.

Zaynep (01:54:24.152)

You went actually nuts. Like he was screaming at the top of his lungs, like gone all up in my face and him acting like he was going to chuck something at my head. It scared the shit out of me so bad that I started crying.

Keith Malinak (01:54:38.324)

You know what? That's sounds like you need to stay out of that neighborhood, There we go. Thank you Tanner. Thank you. I guess I knew this was gonna happen because I saw there was an Amazon package that was gonna be delivered at some point during the show most likely and we got there. So we're now at zero shows with all the bark and Michelle had just left the little bed underneath the table here. So she'll be down there. I heard her just

Zaynep (01:54:44.023)

yeah, my god.

Keith Malinak (01:55:06.892)

Step out of that. So she'll be joining him in the old bark fast and about three, two, one, Matilda go.

Keith Malinak (01:55:18.284)

Wow. Okay. I'm proud of her. Showed restraint. Okay, well, I'm sorry that you had such a terrible experience. mean, what a weird, mean, what? That just doesn't compute. mean, that's not

Zaynep (01:55:31.278)

It was crazy. And then we looked up the Google reviews of that bar and there were a bunch of people who said the bartender is absolutely insane. It was like screaming at them and throwing them out of the bar for no reason.

Keith Malinak (01:55:41.024)

Okay.

Keith Malinak (01:55:46.318)

Tyler, thank you for the clarification there. Fermenting bacteria and the wet hay builds up heat and the hay bales spontaneously combust. Look at that, huh? You learn something new every time you tune in for the Friday live stream. Usually you learn how my dog sound when Amazon rolls in. But there you go. That's good fact there, Tyler. Thank you for that. What did I want to... yes. Okay. Because I mean, you care about your health. I know this.

You know that. I want to play this for you here. You all watch this. Now, I can't follow it. It's too many words. And maybe it would help. Because every time I've, and I've stopped trying to grow stuff. I used to try a garden. Then I just kind of shrunk it down to just a few little things. And then last summer, that's right. The most successful I've ever been is these volunteer tomato plants that grew up near the garbage cans. Remember that, y'all, last summer? That was.

That thing was still the tomatoes were red through the winter. I don't know what's going to happen out there. I need to go and see. I should probably cut them back, but I didn't do a damn thing. So I probably missed out on any kind of regrowth. I don't know how tomato plants work. Do they grow those little cherry tomato plants? Do they just keep regenerating or have I missed the boat? Somebody tell me what to do. Anyway, watch this and tell me this is I find this fascinating. I still wouldn't get this to work if this is accurate.

This copper goes down into the bottom of that planter. It goes west. It goes west. comes out, goes underground. What? goes into this one, underground, through the, it goes through all of them. Okay. Then you bring it over here. Can I just say, I love the stock music that appears in all of these videos. This is in every video, whether it's like a conspiracy theory about, you know, like who really runs the world, if it's, you know, what kind of...

demons are gonna possess you if you fall asleep a certain time of night. I mean, this always got the same kind of music. Pooked up to the bottom of this aluminum pole. They got a big zinc bolt in it. So it causes an electromagnetic field. What? And there's no bugs here. No bugs. That all grew in five days. Everything doubled in size. In five days, everything doubled in size and there are no bugs. All because he ran copper underground and had a zinc.

Keith Malinak (01:58:13.326)

whole I mean let's go if it were this easy I want to go back and relive my life man I got hold on hold on I can't wait to hear the results from here to there this is spilling over that grew about foot and a half all right all right see I knew you would be able to identify with this I didn't know that you had already tried something like this Zay does this work

Zaynep (01:58:18.838)

tried this.

Zaynep (01:58:37.55)

Of course not.

Keith Malinak (01:58:38.99)

Where were you trying to grow?

Zaynep (01:58:41.774)

No, I was just trying to not food, but I was trying to grow I have a lot of flowers like in potted things I propagate African violets and I have orchids and It doesn't work

Keith Malinak (01:59:00.408)

Well then. OK. Well, good. now I don't feel like I should feel pressure to to try to grow a garden. Of course, I've already missed the window. Maybe I don't know. Yeah. wait a minute. Hold on. Let's see here. Last week I was excited to see dry soil. yeah. It's been raining in Hawaii where Born Genius is. Let's see. Bix. I like that. Potential lightning strikes can scare the plants into growing large. OK, that's kind of cool.

Garlic's hard to grow, Susan says. What does that look like growing garlic? I wanna look that up here. Just somebody bear with me. I can't imagine. Is it in the ground? I seriously have no idea. No, is it on a, what is it on? Do you know Zay how garlic looks when it's growing?

Zaynep (01:59:47.954)

It's like sprouts first.

Keith Malinak (01:59:49.666)

Yeah, yeah it is.

Zaynep (01:59:51.478)

Also, can you pull my video off? I need to stand up my back.

Keith Malinak (01:59:56.11)

Hula hoop time, hula hoop time. Nope, nope, no, you don't have to explain. Cause it's gonna take me a moment here to get these, there we go. That's what garlic looks like. It almost looks like onions or something growing. That's kind of fun. Have I told you all the story about how I made spaghetti one time? Did ever tell you all that? I know that I tell the same stories over and over again. Some people have heard them. Some people have heard them 12 times. Some people heard them for the first time. But when Carrie and I...

were living in Lincoln and her mom came over and they were out shopping or whatever and I made spaghetti and I think it called for like, I don't know, six cloves or something. I don't know. And instead of those little baby little pieces, I thought a clove was a bulb. Like a bulb was a clove. And I put about three of those big boys in the big pot of spaghetti. And the whole apartment just

snuck to high heaven. So you can imagine after spending a day of shopping, right? Come home and Keith's been cooking. This is going to be great. You open up the apartment door and whoosh.

Keith Malinak (02:01:06.7)

Not my best moment in the kitchen. In fact, I stay out of it now. Know my place. And Carrie's mom was just trying to be so nice. She's like, hmm, this is good. And I'm like, stop it. This is good. Stop lying to me. And so I think we, I think she ate like two bites. Like you would, you know, pretend with a kid, like a little girl, little.

Let's have a tea party. Mmm, I'm loving the cookies and the tea. She was just like, you know, she's like the McDonald's CEO taking the little tiny bite, know. Mmm, that's so good. Yeah, I think we went out to eat. Yeah, that was, I think your mom said, boy, that guy's a keeper. You gotta hang on to him. He's a culinary genius with his spaghetti recipes. Okay.

Hey, hey, Zay, give me a thumbs up if you're good to come back here. I don't want to prematurely there. Okay, you're good. Hang on a second. All right, hi. How was the hula hoop?

Zaynep (02:02:04.89)

I didn't do it, I just stood up.

Keith Malinak (02:02:07.79)

I think you should actually go get the hula hoop and show us the moves. Let me find this right here.

Zaynep (02:02:17.546)

If we're gonna keep going, I might need to hop off a little early.

Keith Malinak (02:02:21.742)

No, I'm about to hang up. We're almost at the top of the hour.

Zaynep (02:02:25.004)

Yeah, I can't say anymore.

Keith Malinak (02:02:27.424)

didn't realize that you were suffering like that. I wish you had told me and then I could have been like, we're gonna bail then at 30 after something, you know? Let me just do one last thing and then we'll call it done here. Are you a fan of cats at all? Because cats are the I thought so. That's why this is a perfect show for this.

A medieval manuscript was peed on by a cat while writing. A monk was forced to leave the rest of the page empty, drew a picture of a cat, and curse the creature with the following words. Here is nothing missing but a cat urinated on this during a certain night, cursed by the pesty cat that urinated over this book during the night in Deventer, and because of it, many other cats too. So the cat just kept finding it and marking the territory on the book. And beware, well, not to leave open books at night where cats can come.

And you can see that he's got a drew a cat there. He pointed where the cat peed there and there. And my gosh, that is hilarious. Ancient text peed upon. I'm going to let you go. Zay, I hope you feel better. Keep us updated. Hang on just a second. I'm to pull you down here. But you need to stand up and do all that stuff. I appreciate you joining, especially on such incredibly short notice. Follow her, please, at Zaynep Yenisei, Z-E-Y.

took her, stay there for a second, say. I'm gonna put you back up so the graphic comes back up. At Z-E-Y N-E-P-M Y-E-N-I-S-E-Y. Do we get to know what your middle name is?

Zaynep (02:03:53.41)

Yeah, mukaddis.

Keith Malinak (02:03:57.742)

Don't I'm not going to even ask for the spelling. Zeynep Mukades Yenisei. Yeah. Yeah. Don't ask me five minutes from now. won't know. But you hang on. I'm going to say goodbye to everybody and then I'll be back here. I hope you feel better. Thanks for hanging out with us today. OK. So I appreciate. Oh, look at that. Get to see the more genius. It's always putting all the good stuff here that I should do at the Mike show at second floor Dallas. All these are X handles at Jeffy Apologist.

Zane F. I just gave you her handle and chatter. Look at that. Come back. Save time Wednesday wildcard with Keith and guest Steve Stuber gear. That's awesome. And then next week, we're also going to have fun talking about taxes. Have fun this weekend. If you haven't done your taxes, I'm still battling the IRS. As the great philosopher Robert Plant once said, it's a communication breakdown. It's always the same. They're so good at manning the phones.

the IRS, but no, I love them if they're watching. I love you so much. Thank you for being so understanding year after year. No, it was not a show without hearing the pups. just had to Tanner ruined it for us. So just about 10 minutes ago, if you missed that at zero shows without a dog bark as we reset the counter back there. I appreciate all of you. Thank you so much. Atm show dot com. And the one thing that I'm asking if you get on Spotify, please follow the show.

Share it, rate, review it, whatever you want to do. But mostly, please follow the show over at Spotify. I don't care even if you don't use Spotify. Just go follow. Let's go follow the show. Have a great weekend. The Masters are on. And I have gotten to see very little of it thus far. So I need to catch up. But I appreciate you guys very much. I hope you have a happy weekend. We'll see you back here on Wednesday at 3 PM Eastern. Until then, bye.